So lots of people have contacted me and commented about my little 'adventure' last weekend and I've had some time to think about things, and Heather and I have talked a bunch.
So first off, she didn't hurt me - not physically or emotionally. Like I said in the the first post, she basically gave me what I had been asking for, what I had been fantasizing about, she gave me a taste of being disabled, helpless, and used as a sex toy. Like most fantasies, I now realize that thr reality of that situation is very very different from the idea of it. But it was still hours of erotic play and many multiple orgasms and, to be honest, after the fact I still think it was really pretty hot and sexy. It was extreme and a bit scary, yes, but it was overally a very hot and sexy situation.
Heather understands my need for disability and she's fine with it, and I understand her better as well. She doesnt' mind me being in a wheelchair at all and she really likes me being blind for her, and she loves me playing armless so I have to use my feet on her - did I mention she really loves my feet? So going forward we're going to stick with what we know and love - I'm still a full time wheelchair user and will occasionally play blind or armless for Heather - probably more often now that I know how much she really likes it. No more extreme scenarios and nothing that takes away my feet.
Other than that I'm writing more, I'm still working on putting an actual book of short stories together. I think people are going to really like it, I hope if it's on sale for only $10 or $12 a lot of people will buy it. I really get annoyed at the prices of some of the devotee erotica out there now - over $100 for a 15 minute video clip? picture sets that are $2 per picture? It's annoying.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Blog - Be careful what you wish for....
So I'm sure everyone at this point knows about my long term relationship with Heather. I'm a devotee/pretender/wheelchair fetishist with some pretty twisted ideas of sexuality, she is a foot worshiper who doesn't mind my disability fetish as long as she has plenty of access to my sexy feet.
What most people don't know is that I'm kind of a bitch and I often push the boundaries of our relationship to get my way. That means trying to get Heather to use my wheelchair (she doesn't like it) or getting her to humiliate me, change my diapers, not to mention my obsession with erotic chats and all my chat partners. That does bother her, but I still do it because there are certain things I need sexually that she's just not into giving me. I still lover her very, very much and she knows it, but sometimes I just need a little something more.
Enter this weekend. I was being my usual annoying self and trying to get her to make me a quad amputee based on my silly Facebook quiz. I wanted to spend a little time totally helpless, the idea was really turning me on, but Heather isn't that into it - again, she's into my feet, so anything including leg amputations just isn't her thing. Add to that the helplessness, feeding me, changing me, etc... - well, we've actually only done quad amputee once before, as a costume where I was Helena from Boxing Helena and Heather played Dr. Nick, Julian Sands' character.
Well Heather finally gave in yesterday. I could tell she was a little annoyed but I was getting my way so I didn't really care. So we went into the bedroom and I stripped naked and Heather started bandaging my arms up and putting beige 'stump socks' on them - actually converted opaque pantyhose. Next were my legs and she sucked on my toes a bit before bandaging my legs up and putting another pair of stump socks on my DAK stumps. I asked for my diaper in my cutesy sweet voice but she said no and seemed a little cold, so I asked what was wrong. She told me she had plans for me and a minute later I had a vibrating butt plug pressed into my bottom and she was rubbing my clit and she was fingering me. God it only took me maybe two minutes to cum and I cried out and wriggled on the bed moaning and bucking my hips as she kept fingering me.
Well ladies - and maybe men, I have no idea about you - you know when, after a good orgasm, you're kind of super-stimulated, where even the slightest touch can set you off and you feel all tingly and really almost ticklish? Well that's where I was, but Heather kept going. I tried to wriggle out of the way - being the only thing I could do as a quad amp that was suddenly feeling a lot more than 'pretend'. It was so sensative I just wanted to her stop, just wanted her to lay off for a minute so I could catch my breath, but she wouldn't. I told her it was too much and she smiled - she actually smiled - and then took one of my favorite vibrators, one of the 'rabbit' style with the little ears for clitoral stimulation, and started fucking me with that.
I just about screamed and tried to get out of the way, tried to stop her, but I wasn't going anywhere and she knew it, and soon I was having more orgasms and was just screaming and I think at this point possibly crying, I can't remember....
She left the rabbit vibrator in my pussy and rolled me over, then pulled the butt plug out. She put on her strap-on dildo and I felt it pushing slowly into my ass and then she was fucking me again as I lay there with my 'stumps' spread. It was a little awkward with my feet back there but she managed to pump my ass for I have no idea how long, the rabbit vibe still in my pussy making me feel very, very full. It was honestly starting to really hurt, but feeling really good at the same time, I came again and again. I think I counted eleven orgasms but I don't even remember where I stopped counting.
So this went on in various ways for around three, three and a half hours. She gave me a break in the middle and fed me water through a straw and some grapes (I love grapes) and part of it was spooning and cuddling me, but overall is was just non stop sex and I had nothing I could do about it. I ate her out like three times? I think three times, yeah, made her cum, but she just kept going at me.
So by the end I was a complete mess. I was crying hysterically and screaming for her to stop, to just please stop, but she wouldn't, and I was crying and still having orgasms, even though I hurt, my stomach ached and my legs ached and my shoulders ached and I was mad and miserable and so pissed at Heather I just couldn't stop having orgasms and every one made me scream and cry and it was just a complete mess.
So Heather finally finished with me and kissed me - I glared at her, pissed off, and she asked why I was mad, since she finally gave me the loss of control I had been fantasizing about. She undid my bandages and rubbed my legs and arms and did finally put a diaper on me (which I used immidiately and then changed myself later) and then we just lay in bed and talked for like an hour.
She was right, of course - she treated me exactly like I've fantasized about, all my crazy disabled rape fantasies and such, and it was awful, just awful, but at the same time it was incrediby erotic. Insanely hot. It's hard to get my head around it, I'm really confused even two days later. She didn't abuse me, of course, she didn't hit me or hurt me - well, not 'hurt' me in the traditional sense, though my abs and shoulders and hips are still sore and you don't even want to know how my pussy and ass feel even two days later. So I'm still really confused. I'm trying to look at it and feel turned on and part of me really does, but the reality of it all, it's just...
I don't know, I honestly don't know how I feel right now. Aside form feeling like I want to cry all over again, reliving it like this.
What most people don't know is that I'm kind of a bitch and I often push the boundaries of our relationship to get my way. That means trying to get Heather to use my wheelchair (she doesn't like it) or getting her to humiliate me, change my diapers, not to mention my obsession with erotic chats and all my chat partners. That does bother her, but I still do it because there are certain things I need sexually that she's just not into giving me. I still lover her very, very much and she knows it, but sometimes I just need a little something more.
Enter this weekend. I was being my usual annoying self and trying to get her to make me a quad amputee based on my silly Facebook quiz. I wanted to spend a little time totally helpless, the idea was really turning me on, but Heather isn't that into it - again, she's into my feet, so anything including leg amputations just isn't her thing. Add to that the helplessness, feeding me, changing me, etc... - well, we've actually only done quad amputee once before, as a costume where I was Helena from Boxing Helena and Heather played Dr. Nick, Julian Sands' character.
Well Heather finally gave in yesterday. I could tell she was a little annoyed but I was getting my way so I didn't really care. So we went into the bedroom and I stripped naked and Heather started bandaging my arms up and putting beige 'stump socks' on them - actually converted opaque pantyhose. Next were my legs and she sucked on my toes a bit before bandaging my legs up and putting another pair of stump socks on my DAK stumps. I asked for my diaper in my cutesy sweet voice but she said no and seemed a little cold, so I asked what was wrong. She told me she had plans for me and a minute later I had a vibrating butt plug pressed into my bottom and she was rubbing my clit and she was fingering me. God it only took me maybe two minutes to cum and I cried out and wriggled on the bed moaning and bucking my hips as she kept fingering me.
Well ladies - and maybe men, I have no idea about you - you know when, after a good orgasm, you're kind of super-stimulated, where even the slightest touch can set you off and you feel all tingly and really almost ticklish? Well that's where I was, but Heather kept going. I tried to wriggle out of the way - being the only thing I could do as a quad amp that was suddenly feeling a lot more than 'pretend'. It was so sensative I just wanted to her stop, just wanted her to lay off for a minute so I could catch my breath, but she wouldn't. I told her it was too much and she smiled - she actually smiled - and then took one of my favorite vibrators, one of the 'rabbit' style with the little ears for clitoral stimulation, and started fucking me with that.
I just about screamed and tried to get out of the way, tried to stop her, but I wasn't going anywhere and she knew it, and soon I was having more orgasms and was just screaming and I think at this point possibly crying, I can't remember....
She left the rabbit vibrator in my pussy and rolled me over, then pulled the butt plug out. She put on her strap-on dildo and I felt it pushing slowly into my ass and then she was fucking me again as I lay there with my 'stumps' spread. It was a little awkward with my feet back there but she managed to pump my ass for I have no idea how long, the rabbit vibe still in my pussy making me feel very, very full. It was honestly starting to really hurt, but feeling really good at the same time, I came again and again. I think I counted eleven orgasms but I don't even remember where I stopped counting.
So this went on in various ways for around three, three and a half hours. She gave me a break in the middle and fed me water through a straw and some grapes (I love grapes) and part of it was spooning and cuddling me, but overall is was just non stop sex and I had nothing I could do about it. I ate her out like three times? I think three times, yeah, made her cum, but she just kept going at me.
So by the end I was a complete mess. I was crying hysterically and screaming for her to stop, to just please stop, but she wouldn't, and I was crying and still having orgasms, even though I hurt, my stomach ached and my legs ached and my shoulders ached and I was mad and miserable and so pissed at Heather I just couldn't stop having orgasms and every one made me scream and cry and it was just a complete mess.
So Heather finally finished with me and kissed me - I glared at her, pissed off, and she asked why I was mad, since she finally gave me the loss of control I had been fantasizing about. She undid my bandages and rubbed my legs and arms and did finally put a diaper on me (which I used immidiately and then changed myself later) and then we just lay in bed and talked for like an hour.
She was right, of course - she treated me exactly like I've fantasized about, all my crazy disabled rape fantasies and such, and it was awful, just awful, but at the same time it was incrediby erotic. Insanely hot. It's hard to get my head around it, I'm really confused even two days later. She didn't abuse me, of course, she didn't hit me or hurt me - well, not 'hurt' me in the traditional sense, though my abs and shoulders and hips are still sore and you don't even want to know how my pussy and ass feel even two days later. So I'm still really confused. I'm trying to look at it and feel turned on and part of me really does, but the reality of it all, it's just...
I don't know, I honestly don't know how I feel right now. Aside form feeling like I want to cry all over again, reliving it like this.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Blog - A disappointed Cathy...
So I finally talked Heather into letting me spend a little money on 'pretender porn', because I really wanted to see a video and pics from a new Premium Pretenders set, 'Fetish 10.1: Naomi as DAK bound by Melanie' - the YouTube sample I've been oogling for two weeks made it look kinky, fetishy, and sexy. Unfortunately, after purchasing said collection for around $20, the pictures are uninspired and just rehash the same scenes from the video, they don't add anything, and the video itself is basically the exact same thing as the Youtube 'preview' - it extends a few scenes but really there's no difference. Nothing more 'kinky' or extreme, just the same scenes from the preview but a little longer.
Maybe I was fooling myself but I kind of expected more. At least I was hoping they'd show Melanie crutching as an SAK, since at the end of the video she's inexplicably sitting there with a bound AK 'amputation' as Naomi wheels to the bed, but they never expand on that, she's just sitting there and Naomi is in a different outfit.
I guess that's the deal - anything out there of interest is either inexpensive and unsatisfying or hot but ridiculously priced. Now I have to make it seem like I absolutely LOVE this set or else she'll never let me buy anything else... not that I really want to...
Maybe I was fooling myself but I kind of expected more. At least I was hoping they'd show Melanie crutching as an SAK, since at the end of the video she's inexplicably sitting there with a bound AK 'amputation' as Naomi wheels to the bed, but they never expand on that, she's just sitting there and Naomi is in a different outfit.
I guess that's the deal - anything out there of interest is either inexpensive and unsatisfying or hot but ridiculously priced. Now I have to make it seem like I absolutely LOVE this set or else she'll never let me buy anything else... not that I really want to...
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