Friday, November 11, 2011

Looking for career advice

So I mentioned a few weeks ago there was a chance I would be laid off. Well, thankfully I still have a job, but I have a problem as well, and I wanted to know if any of my fans/readers had any legal background, especially for employment matters....

I've had my job for quite a long time, and I like it, I enjoy it, and I believe I do a good job, I get all my tasks done, etc... - For the past several years, I have not gotten any kind of formal job feedback or review; no yearly performance review, nothing... I still got the typical raises everyone got, so I assumed that, since my boss wasn't giving me feedback, I must be doing OK.

Now I have a NEW boss, and he has said my performance is sub-standard and he has demoted me. He gave me a few reasons why he made this decision, but I don't agree with them, and even if I did, none of them are impossible to fix with a little guidance and mentoring (something I've never actually gotten here, sadly).

This is really stressing me out, and I feel like it could have a longer term impact on my career path if this demotion goes on my resume, etc... So what are the rules for this? I don't work for some mom and pop company, this is a large, publicly traded company, so I feel like this is violating my rights as a worker somehow, but I don't know enough about this stuff to really dig into it. Can anyone out there help? Is there some sort of rule about this I can look into?

And no, this has nothing to to with my wheelchair, I'm very certain about that.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Feeling better, still have a job...

So I guess I was a little out of it last week. I really did start thinking more deeply about the objects of my fascination and desire and feeling pretty awful about it. It was kind of kicked of by a really hateful and ignorant email I got, more fallout from the 'portrait of a pretender' article that completely ignored every point in the article and made me - and all DPW's - sound like a cross between hitler and NAMBLA. It was the exact kind of email I would expect from Tea Party members if Michelle Bachman were in a wheelchair. And before you ask - even in a wheelchair she would still make me vomit....

So where does that leave me? Still feeling pretty crummy, still keeping a low profile. I've gone through a lot of my pictures- well, the ones I have left since Flickr deleted my old profile - and I'm more or less going with pretenders and disabled models who are willing participants in their sexualization now for my masturbatory explorations... Oh, and casts, too. There is a lot more cast fetish, like real hard-core sexual cast fetish, than I realized.

Maybe it's a sign of maturity, maybe it's just me letting all the haters get to me, but if I see a candid pick of a smoking hot girl in a chair, it's not really doing as much for me now. Pretenders and others like Candi still do, however... in a big way.

Thanks to all who sent me nice and kind things, and I'm glad my little meltdown at least made for lively discussion. This isn't a condemnation of anyone out there, it's a personal realization only. Hope I haven't upset or disappointed anyone.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

I'm a horrible person....

OK, I will preface this by saying I'm kinda drunk. Yeah, it's early afternoon, but I don't fucking care.

I was horny this morning and doing my usual YouTube scan for new para videos, I saw some nice stuff... A new channel with a decent pretender who is almost certainly a guy but I don't care, I want to be crippled, what do I care is he wants to be a chick... it's all good...

so I see this video a few have Favorited about a girl, former soccer player, SCI after a bad fall during a game. I was watching her transferring into her car, stuff like that, and feeling a bit turned on... then I started to really listen, and realized what a shitty ass horrible thing it is that she's paralyzed now. And I was kinda getting off on that. And then I realized how many videos and pics I've gotten off on that are of women who are genuinely hurt and have had their whole lives completely screwed, and I'm totally getting off on it, and I'm just feeling like a really horrible person today... And I'm kinda drunk... And I might be getting laid off...

Fuck it.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

New Blog - So what's going on?

So a lot has happened since my appearance in New Mobility, and not all of it has been great. My Flickr account was closed due to anonymous complaints, I was discussed at length on a number of blogs, including Roger Ebert's facebook page, and I have been contacted by two different TV shows to do features on me....

And Heather is losing her fucking mind.

I don't blame her, by the way - I'm freaked out too. This is a WAY bigger spotlight than either of us are comfortable with. I mean, yes, I use fake names on my website, I haven't published pics of me in many years, but all the details of my life - the crash, using a wheelchair at work because of back issues, etc... It's all real and might be obvious to anyone who knws me even casually in real life.
Before this happened I wouldn't expect anyone outside of pretender/fetishist circles to stumble across my blog, and if someone I knew put the pieces together, well, it would probably be because they're into the fetish and they probably wouldn't post a threat to my 'secret identity', because I'd have something on them, too. Now, though... my MOM likes Roger Ebert. Everyone I know watches TLC (one of the channels wanting to do a piece on me). I would lose my job if my company found out. I'd lose most of my friends and family if this came out. My weird little existence has been pushed way farther into the open that I expected, and we're kind of freaked out by that.

So that's the deal - I'm going to drop off the radar a bit, I need to talk to Heather about the book - because what if I put it up for sale and, again, it gets picked up by other 'normal' media and the spotlight flips on again? I'm OK, I'm safe, but we're both a little more freaked out by all this stuff than we expected...

Sorry all - stay kinky!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Pretender Article lives on...

So that article, 'Portrait of a Pretender', that Allen Rucker wrote about me a few weeks back? Since it was published on New Mobility, it's been picked up by several other places, including a mention by Roger Ebert.

Of course pretty much every place it was mentioned, there has been a lot of negativity coming from the disabled community, some of it rather prolific in it's promotion of exclusion and even hatred. I'm not at all shocked, of course - I've been doing this a long time - but I DO find it interesting that a community which talks so much about acceptance and understanding seems to be so completely devoid of the same.

I mean, it's not like I'm taking their parking spots or using up their medical benefits, I'm not doing anything at all that can possibly affect their daily lives, so why would they feel such vehemence against me? Is it the same argument heterosexuals use against gay marriage - that if a pretender uses a wheelchair it will somehow cheapen THEIR disability experience? It almost seems self-hating, like they're so disgusted by their own situation and their own disability that anyone who might actually find a positive in it, anyone who might even PREFER a wheelchair as a means of mobility for some reason, just HAS to be mentally ill or worse, because it's just so AWFUL. I find that an extremely dis-empowering point of view, personally...

Well, Allen saw the same thing, and he's posted a new article which I really like, called 'Looking to Be Insulted' - he makes some good points and has a really great point of view, it's certainly worth a read, if for not other reason than to see a well-respected disability advocate actually defending ME. Thanks for that, Allen!!

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

New Mobility article - full interview

A few people have commented that there isn't much 'interview' with me in the article written for New Mobility... This is true, but the author, Alan, actually asked me quite a few questions and I'm quite happy with my answers, if I may be immodest for a moment. I feel they give a pretty good view into 'me', much better than the article itself, so I wanted to post it here, unedited, in it's entirety. Let me know how you like it :)

1. Please describe your background in very general terms. Middle class/working class, urban/rural, college, profession, etc.

Cathy: I'd say middle class, urban. I live in a modest sized apartment with my girlfriend in a not-too-awful part of town. I have a pretty run-of-the-mill customer service job, she's a midlevel professional. I went to a little college didn't have the money to finish - I wasn't very self-confident, either. If I could have gone in a wheelchair, I probably would have finished with honors. Heather has a degree but never actually worked in the field she got her degree in. I'm not sure which one of us came out ahead on the college question.

2. When did you first notice a fetish for wheelchairs? Was there one life-changing incident? How did the realization make you feel?

Cathy: It came in stages. I remember my earliest feelings were when I would watch the Jerry Lewis telethon with my grandmother. I still remember seeing a girl about my age (probably 8 or 9) wearing a pretty, frilly dress and full metal legbraces, using a walker, and it fascinated me! This girl mesmerized me and I just wanted to BE her, or be like her. From that point on I was fascinated with mobility impairments, primarily crutches and wheelchairs - seeing people using them gave me a thrill I didn't completely understand, but I knew I liked it and wanted to experience it.
I know I was 11 when it really 'hit home' and solidified. I was at my grandmother's house, my mom was working so grandma was my occasional babysitter. She had an old push wheelchair in the basement, it was older than I was, I think. I remember using it down in the basement, wheeling myself around when I could sneak it, usually when she was watching soaps. One day, I had taken an ACE bandage from under the sink and wrapped my ankle with it, then wheeled around. It made me feel VERY strange, but good. Without going into detail that might make this article NSFW, I'll just say that I ended up having my first orgasm sitting in a wheelchair in my grandmother's basement - that was pretty much the 'life changing incident' that put me on the path to who I am today.

3. Please describe your wheelchair life today. Do you go out in public? Can you comfortably and confidently stay in a chair for long periods? In a public situation, could you fool me?

Cathy: I had been using a wheelchair more or less daily, at home, since I moved out on my own when I was twenty, first in a beat up hospital chair I bought for $25 at a garage sale, and then later in an Invacare rigid chair I bought for $600 from a medical surplus sale (I saved up for 2 years for that!).
About three years ago, my girlfriend Heather and I were in a really bad car accident. It totaled the car - they needed special equipment to get her door off - but thanks to modern technology, neither of us were badly injured. I had a sprained wrist, she had a few cuts, that was it - we were very lucky. Out of that incident, since it really happened and we had pictures of Heather's severely damaged car, etc..., we decided to take my pretending up a notch. Since then, I have lived every day as a wheelchair user, at work, with friends and family, at home, etc... The 'official story' is not paralysis, it's a back injury that causes me loads of pain and discomfort if I stand or walk for any amount of time. My 'treatment' is a chiropractor, and since chiropractors aren't covered by my health insurance, there's no way for work to question or disprove it. My job was always been a sit-down position, answering phones and using a computer, so they didn't even have to specially modify anything, so nobody questions it.
This is one of the things that has been most surprising to me - nobody questions me about my wheelchair. It's like they don't even want to know - I was afraid I wouldn't be able to pull it off long term, that I'd slip up and say something or do something that would make people know I was a fake, but what I really found out was that able-bodied people just don't bother, they don't pay that much attention and even avoid the topic all together. Even my family, after the first comple months of the 'when are you getting out of that chair?' questions, just stopped paying attention and pushed my 'unfortunate situation' to the side.
When I'm wheeling I make sure I don't make any kind of scene, I don't use any handicapped parking spots, I don't apply for any special services, etc... - I don't want to accidentally take up a service that a genuine chair user might need. I also get REALLY mad when I see someone without an appropriate sticker parking in a handicapped slot.

4. The benefits of chair culture to you seem primarily sexual, from your blog description. Please explain -- are you attracted to or aroused by women who are attracted or aroused by you in your chair?

Cathy: This is a multi-layered answer, and I'll do my best not to ramble too badly.
The quick answer is yes, I am sexually aroused by being in a wheelchair, and I am attracted to women with mobility impairments; primarily wheelchair users, but also leg braces, crutches, even casts sometimes.
As for me being in my wheelchair, it's far deeper than sexual - I only feel 'complete' or 'right' when I'm in my wheelchair. It's completely psychological; when I am in my wheelchair I am more self-confident, more outgoing, more able to focus, and I feel much more attractive. I'm much more open to meeting new people, I'm much more fun in public settings like parties or clubs, and I'm simply happier. Conversely, if I'm not in my chair I'm much less self confident and I'm very shy - before meeting Heather I would almost never go out, because without my chair I just felt somehow 'naked', like I left the house without makeup or like I was still wearing my pajamas.
Being in my chair is also very sexual for me - again, I feel more confident and sexy, and that, in turn, makes me more sexually confident and aroused. Getting out of bed in the morning by transferring to my wheelchair is an immediate emotional wake-up and, most days, an immediate arousal for me. Being 'helped' in my chair is the same, sometimes stronger - Heather helping me put on a pair of stockings when I'm sitting in my chair is some of the strongest erotic foreplay for me, as one example.
As far as Heather's take on it, she likes my chair and she understands and appreciates what it does for me, but she's not 'into' wheelchairs or paraplegics per-se, she's just 'into' me and the chair is part of that, it has been since our first date. For her it's more like a fantasy role-play. Not sure if this is too much information, but Heather is also a foot fetishist, that's her primary 'kink'. She approached me at a club because I was in my wheelchair and not wearing shoes, just stockings - she liked my feet :) We had a nice evening together, the next day I admitted that I was a wheelchair pretender and, instead of calling me a freak (that has happened seven different times with seven different lovers, and true or not it always hurts.) she admitted she was a foot worshiper, and we've been together ever since. Even though she's not 'into' the wheelchair pretending, she does treat me as a wheelchair user in our day to day lives, and that really helps me a lot.

5. Are there other perks to being a chair user? For instance, do you like the attention you get in public?

Cathy: Better parking? KIDDING!
Honestly I LOVE the attention I get in public. The working title of the book I'm putting out later this year is actually 'It's OK to stare'.
I never make a scene or try to 'stick out', but I love the little second glances I get, I love people holding a door open for me, things like that.
One 'perk' - well, I guess it's a perk, anyway - is something I've been doing since I got my Invacare rigid chair (because it looks more 'legitimate' than the old hospital chair) is shoe shopping. I would go to a nice shoe store and ask to try on a few pairs of shoes and ask for the sales woman to help put them on for me (especially if she was cute). It's always extremely exciting for me, both emotionally and erotically. I'd almost always buy a pair too - I felt weird not buying anything.

6. Do you consider your chair fetish to be what is known as a factitious disorder -- compulsively feigning illness or impairment -- or just a lifestyle choice? Is it in any way harmful, to you or others?

Cathy: For me I definitely consider it a lifestyle 'choice' in the same way that being a Lesbian is a 'choice' - there's not really a choice in the matter, if I don't use a wheelchair I deny part of who I am. I've read up a lot on BIID, I think parts of that describe me pretty well, but it's not a perfect fit.
The 'feigning illness' after the car accident is simply a vehicle to allow me to live this way full time, which is something I've fantasized about since I was a teenager. It's very, VERY rare for a pretender to be able to live in their preferred mode of 'disability' full time, I think I've only ever spoken to one other since I've been active in the community who has pulled this off, and even for them it involved moving to another state.
Is it harmful? Well, some would say psychologically harmful, and I probably believe that. I do have days, every so often, where just sitting in my wheelchair isn't enough. I have times when the fact that I can get up and stand and walk around just really frustrates me, and I want more. I have thought of hurting myself, gaining some real, permanent injury, usually paralysis. I've had myself worked up to the point where I was ready to fall out a second story window, back-first (Wearing a bike helmet), to try and break my spine. I've researched things like paralytic drugs that could be used to deaden legs permanently. I've come pretty close to taking actions that may have proven highly dangerous to me.
I've never told anyone this, but when I walked away from that that severe car accident unharmed, I cried deeply for two full days, I was inconsolable. I decided that walking away from a crash that (in my mind) SHOULD have paralyzed me was completely unfair and I wanted to break my back for real. I think that was the closest I have ever come to doing myself real, serious harm, and it was only Heather's idea of a compromise - using the accident to fake an injury - that brought me out of that place. I don't know what might have happened if she hadn't.

7. There are no stats that I can find about wheelchair pretenders or wannabes or fetishists. How many are out there, would you guess? Hundreds? Thousands?

Cathy: I'd love to know! For myself, based on my blog statistics gets an average of 12K - 15K unique pageviews per month, and it gets statistically higher if I'm more active (posting at least one to two stories or blog posts a week), so there's a decent population of people out there who at least have an interest. I also belonged to a web group for pretenders that had a few hundred people in it, but it wasn't all that active and unfortunately mostly full of spam.
It's such a taboo, as many things related to disability and sexuality are, that even on the world of the internet not many people come out and say they are pretenders or wannabes or even devotees. As someone who has friends and experiences in many sub-cultures, including GLBT, foot fetish, and BDSM groups, the pretender/wannabe subculture is the most secretive 'group' I know.

8. How do they/you know about each other besides the internet?

Cathy: Internet is it for me, because of some really negative issues that happened in the past with a 'meetup'.
I think the web is the primary means of connecting for the vast majority of people, though I do know one person who has said that the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco was a good place for meeting others. Germany seems to be a hotbed of activity as well. The folsom Street thing seems more a leather and bondage fetish scene there, but I do know there is a bit of crossover between leg brace pretenders and bondage enthusiasts. I know I'd love to check it out some day, and Heather has always wanted to visit San Fran - it's a Lesbian thing...

9. Having socialized with other pretenders or wannabes, how would you describe them in general? Is there a certain personality type -- rebel, say, or loner, or depressive, etc? Maybe you can't generalize at all. If not, just give me a quick thumbnail sketch of another pretender you know well.

Cathy: There's no way I can generalize, as the pretenders and wannabe's I've known over the years have all been very unique individuals. I know one who is a very happy family man, I know a couple pretenders who are alone and looking for a partner, I know a wannabe who is a little 'out there' and can be disturbing to chat with, and I've chatted with a single middle aged woman who likes to use a wheelchair to get attention for herself. I guess it's easier than filling your house with cats.
I will say there does seem to be an undercurrent of psychological issues I've seen among pretenders - myself included - but I don't believe that being a pretender or a wheelchair fetishist in itself is a 'psychological issue', but rather coming to the realization that we are so far outside the societal idea of 'normal' tends to be very isolating and frustrating for us.
Imagine being told, from the time you begin having a sexual identity of your own, that what you identify with is 'wrong', is 'sick', is 'disgusting' - but it's just a woman in a wheelchair, or on crutches? Take that woman out of the wheelchair and sit her on a couch, and suddenly that's a normal attraction, but put her in the wheelchair and you're a degenerate or a pervert. What would that do to you psychologically? I had the double-whammy of identifying as a Lesbian AND something that, at the time, didn't even have a NAME - at least not one that people knew. It really affected me and my social development, to have an attraction/desire/fetish that (as far as I knew) nobody else on the planet shared. It still affects me to this day.
I do know a number of male pretenders who are also either cross dressers or transvestites, so there is a lot of transformation going on there, and some of them look really good. They have said similar things to me, that they don't feel like 'themselves' unless they are in drag and either on crutches or in braces or a wheelchair.

10. This is a key question to me. Having no doubt observed a lot of wheelchair users like me, what insights can you pass along about us? I find most users to be timid, shy, quick to feel offended, and all too often self-centered, but then again, maybe that's my own bias.

Cathy: For me it's ironic because I'm timid and shy until I get IN my wheelchair, then I'm very open and friendly and outspoken.
Generally for wheelchair users I say 'Embrace it'. It's you, it's who you are, and if more wheelchair users embraced it and became more outspoken 'roll models' I think it would be a very positive thing. Be more outgoing and try to get into the media more! There are no good positive wheelchair users in the media, and for most roles that require a disabled/differently abled person, they choose an able-bodied actress - that's just stupid and insulting. Also, wheelchair ladies - you need to go barefoot FAR more often. (Just kidding, that's the fetish talking...)
Openly embrace sexuality too - the GLBT community did this and de-mystified homosexuality (which was considered a deviant paraphilia until the 1970s!!!). As I said before - put someone like A.J. Bray (I'm a HUGE fan) on a luxurious couch in sensual clothing and a seductive pose and that's hot, that's erotica. If you put her in her wheelchair, dressed the same way and in the same seductive pose, however, somehow it becomes perverse? It's deviant? That's stupid.
I don't know that I've ever offended a wheelchair user in person (though I'm certain I've offended MOST of them with my website over the years), but in general nobody should be easily offended or have a hair trigger - it's just not healthy. To paraphrase one of my favorite T-shirts - 'some people are dicks, get over it'
Also, if you're in a wheelchair stop obsessing about walking again. I know, that's a stupid thing for the wheelchair pretender to say, and I'm not talking about a real cure, like stem cells, I'm talking about all the braces and bizarre exoskeletons they're coming out with. These things are slow, they're hard to use, they're clumsy, and they're just there to make 'normal' people feel better - I've yet to see one that seems to be a genuine improvement on quality of life.

11. Did you see the movie, "Quid Pro Quo," about a pretender played by the actress Vera Farmiga? What did you think of it?

Cathy: I've seen it a number of times now. It's a good movie, I like it, I think Vera is REALLY hot in her wheelchair, but the big reveal scene with the braces fell very flat - she wasn't wearing them right or using them right, and if she were as hard core a pretender as she indicated, she would have known better.
The creepy little 'pretenders meeting' in the darkened/abandoned building was odd, but I could see myself taking part in something like that if it were real - especially pre-Heather. I would have preferred it to dig a little deeper into the subculture, but overall it was a pretty cool movie.

That's it for now. Please feel free to add anything you wish. It's your life. I'm just trying to accurately describe it.

Cathy: My whole idea of being a wheelchair user, being a paraplegic, is very romanticized and, in most cases, isn't based in reality. It's a fantasy, an idealized, almost fairy-tale concept of what my life would be like as a paraplegic in a wheelchair, and I know that. I know that 'not being able to walk' is probably the smallest issue most paraplegics need to deal with. I know that if I ever became genuinely paralyzed, I would probably hate it after a week, then I'd eventually get over it and get on with my life, just like anyone who becomes paralyzed. However, that's the logical part of my brain, and when it comes to wheelchairs that's just not the part of my brain that's in charge.
As an example - I have wheeled to a store that I REALLY wanted to go to, and then not gone in because there was a flight of steps down to get into the store (It was this little basement-level boutique). I could have just stood up and walked in, but in my mind that wasn't really possible, because I was in a wheelchair, so I left and I've never returned. I think they're closed now.
Pretenders don't hurt anyone, as long as they're not trying to scam government benefits or taking services away from people who actually need them. We have a fetish, an 'interest', even a 'disorder' - call it what you will, but we're just living our lives in the only way we really can, for the most part. For me, I could bury this deep in my subconscious and live a miserable life on two legs, or I can embrace my soul and live life happy and content, and in a wheelchair. That doesn't make a real wheelchair user any less 'legitimate', it doesn't diminish you in any way, it's just me sitting in a wheelchair, living my life.

Friday, September 2, 2011

ParaCathy featured in New Mobility!

So here's more big new for me! I was interviewed for an article in New Mobility on pretenders, which was just published yesterday! The author, Allen Rucker, interviewed me over the summer and I think the article came out quite good - I'm happy with it in any case! Check it out, and I hope you enjoy this small look into my mind and my world :) and please - if you're going to leave comments under the article, make sure they are non-confrontational and don't reflect badly on the P/D/W subculture. Thanks!!

Check out the article here!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Wheelchair Sex in Penthouse!!!

So the September 2011 issue of Penthouse features a great article on sex with women in wheelchairs, and it features my crush AJ Bray! It's a well done article with a few sexy 'teaser' pictures, and they talk to a few hot chair girls (Including AJ), discussing sexuality for disabled women, specifically wheelchair-bound women, and how chair chicks are every bit as hot and horny as 'normal' girls (Have to disagree here - they are about a hundred times HOTTER, but that's just me ;) )

The article is good and there are some very hot photo spreads (non-wheelchair, sadly, but hey, I like naked pussy as much as the next lesbian...) so it's TOTALLY worth picking up! You should check it out!

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Blog - These are a few of my favorite things...

I came across a YouTube video recently, featuring a pretty well known wheelchair model named Simone. It was a simple video - her getting out of bed, putting lotion on her legs, and getting dressed - no nudity, very tastefully done. It was at the same time both completely innocent, and incredibly erotic - at least to me and I'm sure others 'like me' as it were. I've watched it over a dozen times now, just admiring it, admiring the way she moves and handles herself and her soft, obviously useless legs.

Obviously the video was done as a promotion for devotee erotica, and there's nothing wrong with that - I hope she makes a great living doing that, I sure wish I could. But I think it underlines a big difference between erotica made for wheelchair fetishists/devotees and 'normal' porn. People say we're perverts, we're deviants, but I'm not getting off on seeing someone fucked in the ass or getting cum shot all over her face, which is prevalent in even normal 'vanilla' porn. I'm watching a beautiful woman move, watching her express herself. I'm not getting off on 'overcoming adversity' like some MDA poster child, I'm watching someone who moves and lives a bit different from the 'norm', but it's clearly normal for her and she's embracing it, she's living her life and, to me, that's both fascinating and sexy.

I love the video and I just thought I'd share...

Monday, August 8, 2011

Weekend Quad Play

I don't play quadriplegic very often, because it's actually kind of boring for Heather and it's hard to pretend without a power chair. We did do the extreme quad amputee scene I posted about previously, but that was more of an 'experiment' than a genuine erotic roleplay. I'm more of a para fetishist anyway, so it's not something I'm really into THAT much - but I fantasize about it sometimes. You know me :)

This weekend we were hanging in the house and I mentioned quad fantasy - not as something I was asking to do, just a mention more than anything - and Heather and I started to talk about it a bit. Heather finally said 'Go lay on the bed and wait for me - I have an idea.' - well, I looked at her with a curious and somewhat curious, somewhat nervous look, and she laughed and said it wasn't THAT kind of idea... so I wheeled into the room and did what she asked, just lay on the bed, fully clothed.

Heather came in naked and said I was a quad - it was a roleplay and I couldn't move anything from my neck down, poor thing... yeah, it turned me on. A LOT. So Heather started to slowly undress me, all whiel I was trying to keep from moving anything. I wasn't even sure what to say, so I mostly stayed quiet as she undressed me sensually. She slipped my t-shirt and bra off, moving my arms and body for me, then unbuttoned my skirt and slipped that off, rolling me gently - I was in heaven! She started playing with my feet then, and told me she wished I could feel all the love and attention she was giving them... she played with my feet for a while, maybe twenty minutes? All the while I lay there and just felt so good. Finally she slipped up and pulled my diaper off- she had ignored it until then - and she worked my unmoving legs to pull one of my strap-ons up my thighs and fastened it tightly to me. She gave me head, sucking on the pink rubber cock, and then lubed it up and straddled me, telling me how good it felt, how she wished I could reach up and grab her, but she knew I couldn't... I was so hot and turned on I was buzzing by this point, so totally wet, and the way she was fucking me and the way the harness of the strap-on was rubbing against me, I'm pretty sure before she did, and she came really hard a few times. It was so amazingly hot, a really nice scene that she said she'd be totally into doing it again...

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Shoes, Wheelchairs, and Fetishes

So Heather and I have been having an interesting philosophical discussion over the last few days, mostly stemming from the AMAZING new shoes she bought me. Is it sexier to see a woman in a wheelchair barefoot (or wearing stockings and no shoes) or wearing some kind of sexy shoes. Obviously this is personal preference, but we broke it down into three basic 'camps'


Personally, I love either barefoot or stockings/knee socks in a wheelchair. I feel like not wearing shoes somehow enhances the sense of disability. I also love how, on some real paras, the feet are somewhat curled, or flaccid - they just 'look' more disabled, and thats' a huge turn-on for me, personally. Heather likes the 'no shoes' look because it shows off the feet, and she certainly doesn't mind me wheeling around the house barefoot, but it's actually not her preference - which kind of surprised me.

'Normal' shoes

Neither of us are a fan of this. By 'normal' shoes we mean sneakers, flats, loafers, pedal pushers, more 'conservative' shoes. The only exception is Mary Janes, which I like to wear with schoolgirl outfits. (OK boys, picture that in your head for a minute. You're welcome.) Normal conservative shoes just seem 'blah' - both in and out of the wheelchair. Needless to say, we don't own many pairs of these.

'Extreme' shoes and fashion shoes

Here is Heather's preference, but she's a foot fetishist more than a wheelchair fetishist, so this is her preference across the board. By 'extreme' shoes I mean shoes that are so 'outside the norm' that I probably couldn't walk in them if I tried - like ballet heels. Fashion shoes are shoes like Manolo Blahnik and other high end styles that I couldn't afford if I sold a kidney. We've got plenty of knockoffs, though - Heather loves red and pink stiletto heels, peep toes and strappy sandals as well as classic black patent stilettos. I love shoes that tie on somehow, like a strap or silk tie, like the ones HEather just bought me. I like those because I feel like they're tied on so they won't slip off my paralyzed feet :)

So what does everyone else prefer? You prefer barefoot? Sexy shoes? Something else entirely? Let me know - I'd love to hear from you!

Finally - there is a sex podcast that I love to listen to, 'Having Sex, with Katie Morgan', that has been on for a few weeks now. Well I was listening Episode 10, from Wednesday, August 3rd, that was all about fetishes. It was a good episode, interesting and funny and sexy, but then the last question was about disability fetish! This guy is into wheelchairs and crutches and amputee pretending and they have a pretty good discussion about medical fetish in general - I was blown away and really impressed - and really turned on! You can download and listen for free - give it a try!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Ok, everybody should vote for AJ!!!

So one of the hottest and most wonderful wheel gals in the universe, AJ Bray, has entered a contest to be Playboy's Miss social - you can vote for her on Facebook, and you definitely SHOULD - she's amazing, in so many ways, and she is HOT! And she is Pansexual and she loves SHOES!! Please click on the link below to vote, and check out the video below to see why (and see just how awesome she is :) ) - Please vote for AJ!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Heather really likes 'The Wannabe'...

So it's been a few days since the amazing fetish video 'Jessie The Wannabe' has hit the virtual shelves and Heather and I watched it end to end this weekend. The short 'review' - I got SO LAID after we watched that. I mean long, hard, intense lesbian fucking that lasted half the night.

I'm not going to do a typical review for the movie, since I wrote it and I don't think that's a fair review, but I can talk about Heather and I watching it. First - Heather didn't even think I could pull it off. She didn't think for a minute that a fetish video production company would pick up a script from me and make it into a movie, so she didn't even read the script beforehand. It's not that she isn't supportive - she is, in her own way - but she still thinks my website is only visited by like twelve perverts - she doesn't actually think I have an audience. That's OK, though - we know the truth, don't we :)

So Heather was already impressed with the fact that I got this done, and she didn't even complain that it was in polish, she was OK with the subtitles (which I wrote, for the most part).

She liked the setup, and she was shocked at the injection scene - she was actually impressed at how they pulled it off. She LOVED the scene after the injection, where the nurse was seeing how much feeling Jackie had left, asking her to move her toes and seeing if she had any feeling in her feet. Heather does love her some feet :). She rolled her eyes at the diaper scene, but she knows my kink and was fine with it.

Once it got to the blindness scene, she kind of freaked - she had no idea it was coming, and she's so interested in blindness, she knew it was in there for her :) - she had her hand down my pants at that point, and she was really hot once the girls got the cafe and was so turned on as she watched poor Jackie feeling her way around to eat her lunch - we were mostly naked before the video ended, and I replayed the video two or three more times as we rolled around on the couch and the floor. She ate me out SO good as Jessie got the injection and became paralyzed, and I was eating her out as Jessie got the blind contacts in and started blindsimming.

I'm still really really happy about this video, and thanks so much to for working on it with me!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

ParaCathy and present - 'The Wannabe'!

It's finally here - 'The Wannabe', a wheelchair fetish movie written by me, ParaCathy, and produced by! The movie is currently for sale on the BracedGirls website.

In this amazing, one of a kind fetish movie, Jackie is a lifelong wheelchair wannabe who has always dreamt of having numb, paralyzed legs, and having to rely on a wheelchair to get around. She makes friends with a nurse who says she can help, and they finally meet at Jackie's apartment with everything they need to make Jackie's dreams come true - but there's a catch; the nurse has her own special interests...
Once prepared, the nurse injects Jackie with a solution that instantly paralyzes her from the waist down. When it's clear that the paralysis is complete, the nurse helps Jackie into a padded diaper and helps Jackie gets into her wheelchair, where she starts to experience her dream fully for the first time!
After Jackie wheels herself around for a while, the nurse reveals her ultimate surprise, and In the final 'ParaCathy' twist , Jackie is wheeled out of her apartment, completely paralyzed but also in full leg braces and now completely blind, courtesy of her nurse. The pair head out in public and go to dinner and a shopping area, with the nurse pushing her blind and crippled patient.
This is truly a ParaCathy story come to life and I'm really happy with the result - I do think this is a must see for anyone who enjoys wheelchair fetish, wanabe stories, or my unique brand of fetish fiction! Don't miss it!

I really think the video came out great, based on my script. Obviously there are a few differences based on translation from English to Polish and back to English, but I even worked with the producer on the subtitles, so the story really comes through and I'm definitely happy with the end result, especially for a first try!

Obviously if this video sells well, it will send a message that people are interested in scripted fetish videos and maybe producers will start making more, either from my scripts or stories (that would be great!) or other stories from the community.

Finally - let me know how you like the movie, if you have any questions, and DEFINITELY comment on this post or even email the producer to let them know that you support this kind of thing! Devotees and Wannabes actually being involved in the creation of these fetish videos can only be a good thing for the community, right?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Big News!! New video coming soon - 'The Wannabe', written by ME!!

So as many of my readers know, a few weeks ago I offered my script writing talents to fetish video producers, because I was getting tired of seeing poorly scripted videos that feature silly situations and - my biggest pet peeve - the girls who are 'paralyzed' end of walking at the end.

I'm VERY happy to say that after that article was posted, I DID have a video producer contact me and we worked together on a completely original 'ParaCathy' script called 'The Wannabe'. Not only did we work out a script, the video has now been shot, and is in final editing!! So what is it?

'The Wannabe' is about Jessie, a sexy lifelong para/wheelchair wannabe, who finally meets an equally sexy nurse who shares her interests. The nurse arranges to make Jessie's para dreams come true, but as in many ParaCathy stories, there is an unexpected twist!! Jessie's wheelchair dreams come true, but she also gets a bit more than she bargained for...

The video will be available very soon, ready by next week on and The Medic Brace CLips 4 Sale site. I don't know about pricing yet, but the producer has assured me it wouldn't be overpriced. I'll let you know when it's fully available and all the final details as soon as they're out! I'm SO EXCITED!!!

Too funny not to share - I broke a sex-bot...

I was on Yahoo and someone named Catherine started to chat with me. Well it was obvious from the second reply that this was a spam/sex bot, so I decided to have a little fun. I think I broke it...

catherinegarfinkle935: hey you, whats up ;)
paracathy: hi there - I'm not sure we've chatted
catherinegarfinkle935: whats up, I found your username on a member directory of social sites.. not sure which one cause it bundles them all together lol
paracathy: spam bot huh?
catherinegarfinkle935: i am bored at home...and this usually leads to bad things ;)
paracathy: and not even a good one... I'm disappointed
paracathy: wow - who writes your dialog?
paracathy: I could write better than that
catherinegarfinkle935: well...i have a fetish for being on camera ;)
paracathy: Of course you do...
paracathy: you don't even know the meaning of the word 'fetish'
catherinegarfinkle935: have you ever used Random Chat? its a free site that lets us chat live kinda like a skype
paracathy: you're barely an amateur compared to me
catherinegarfinkle935: my link is
paracathy: And I'll bet it steals your credit card and gives you viruses too
catherinegarfinkle935: go there and my video will load, just click the "Verify" button on the bottom left...
paracathy: Why does it say Jenny if your name is Catherine?
catherinegarfinkle935: im always either on the phone or online, im an addict lol...i dont normally give my number out but if you meet me in the chat and I get comfortable with you we can talk on the phone
paracathy: Sure we can...
catherinegarfinkle935: my number is phone is dead, so give it a few minutes to charge, and please dont go give that out! hehe...come talk to me over RandomChat
paracathy: Wow, that sounds like a great idea
catherinegarfinkle935: i love the site cause its streams fast in real-time sorta like a skype, fill out your info, its free :) k?
paracathy: Sure it's free
paracathy: is it OK that I'm only 12 years old?
catherinegarfinkle935: i use this site to play on cause i don't want to be recorded!...this site doesn't allow people to record my cam! just click the "Verify" button on the bottom left of the page and we'll be able to have a live chat
paracathy: wow, you'll have live sex chat with a 12 year old? Really?
catherinegarfinkle935: u get in for free thru my cam session invite since I'm a premium member, but u need to verify babe just click the Verify button it takes one sex..sorry "sec" lol ;)
paracathy: wow whoever wrote this dialog should be fired and then shunned by all humanity
catherinegarfinkle935: let me know if you need any help logging in..i'm gonna slip into something nice for you..k? ;)
paracathy: why don't you wear a duck costume and sing the national anthem - that's my fetish, k?
catherinegarfinkle935: im the girl in the main video that loads
paracathy: Sure you are - what color is your hair?
catherinegarfinkle935: k
paracathy: You hair color is 'K'?
catherinegarfinkle935: are u in babe??
paracathy: I'm not sure what that is? Is that a Nice n Easy color?
catherinegarfinkle935: k
paracathy: Ha, that's what she said!
paracathy: So what about the duck costume?
paracathy: If you have that, it's a done deal... you can have my credit card now...
paracathy: Oops. I think I broke it...

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

The Player - By Ruth Madison

I've met this wonderful and talented devotee-related writer, Ruth Madison, and she's written a short story that, though not really like my typical posts here, is a really good story, very well written, and I'm sure some of my fans will enjoy it greatly! she has a couple novels published too, so make sure you check her out!
- Cathy

Hi! I'm Ruth Madison and ParaCathy has kindly agreed to let me share one of my short stories with you! I'm on the flip side of devness and so I write stories about physically disabled men. I know that's not the target audience here, but I thought maybe you all would enjoy something a little different. If you like it, I hope you'll visit my website for more information on my writing. Thanks! I hope you enjoy...

The Player

by Ruth Madison

I have a terrible weakness for redneck country boys in wheelchairs. They look so tough and in control, like they can handle anything. They are totally cool with their hunting and off-roading. I am not their type. I look it at first, but that's only because I worked hard to hide my geeky past. In my heart, I still am, and it always comes out. So in theory I'm looking for a nice, quiet, geeky guy in a wheelchair, but in practice if the bad boys find me, I can't seem to refuse them anything.

That's how it was with Max.

I found him on a dating site for disabled people. I'd had an account there for a few months, gone on a couple of forgettable dates. No one in the entire state of California seemed remotely appealing. So, just for curiosity, I widened my search and saw a picture of the hottest man I had ever seen in my life. In Michigan.

I didn't think I had a chance with him, but I tend to forget what I look like. I still remember myself as slightly pudgy with glasses and a unibrow. In college I discovered tweezers and my body subtly reshaped itself into a stunning hourglass. I could get just about any man I met just by wearing a tight t-shirt. I had silky black hair that reached to the bottom of my butt and warm Hispanic skin. None of that changed the fact that I played computer games every night and steamed through 500 page fantasy novels on the weekends. But Max didn't know that, he only saw the exotically beautiful woman in the profile picture.

When he called I was pleasantly surprised by his voice. His accent was a gentle mid-western drawl. He told me about his nieces and nephews, how he hoped to get married and have a family some day. He told me about his hobby refurnishing old wood furniture and his job at a local bank. For a girl caught in the superficial world of Los Angeles, it sounded hopelessly Norman Rockwell.

Every picture he sent was sexier than the last. Him holding up a huge fish he had just caught, him with a lopsided grin leaning forward over his paralyzed legs on the porch of a house, him at some kind of race car event, holding a beer, with barely-dressed girls on either side. I could almost cum from just looking at them.

For some reason, after that first phone call he didn't ever want to talk on the phone again. It was always instant messaging and webcam with him. He sent me texts at all hours telling me to get online and I found it impossible to say no to him. He would turn on the webcam from his laptop while he got ready for work in the morning and even brought it into the bathroom where I could watch him shower.

You know, you could call, I would type.

Nah, this is better. Why don't you show me a little something?

I have no defense, no explanation for why I did what he told me. When he asked me to, I took off my shirt and my bra, rubbed my large breasts together on the webcam. I didn't think about how this behavior was at odds with his original phone call describing his desire for a wife and a family.

5:00 a.m. and I had a text from him. I'm in the shower, get up. I wanted to ignore him, but he was too beautiful.

When are you coming to see me? he typed.

Oh, I don't know about that...

You know you want to :)

Damn, he was right. Why did he have so much power over me? I felt like I would do almost anything to touch him in real life, to fuck that amazing body. Besides, this couldn't be a real relationship until we met, it would have to happen at some point. I was still thinking he was husband

material, don't ask me why.

I picked a weekend and bought a plane ticket. It was the first time I had ever bought something big like that without telling my parents. I also wouldn't tell them I was going anywhere at all. I planned to tell only my coworkers where I was, so that someone would know where to look in case I vanished.

Max friended me on Facebook and I poured over his profile looking for more clues about his life and trying to imagine myself as part of it. There were so many photos. Some from his sister's wedding (him in a suit, yummy), at the reception with his three year old niece on his lap (oh my God, swoon), hanging out on a beach with his body stretched out on a towel and his empty wheelchair behind him. He looked very young in that picture, all lean and lanky. There was a girl too. She looked plain, but pretty and had a kind face. She was in several of the pictures, but she wasn't his sister. I had a terrible curiosity and I wanted to figure out how the pieces of his life went together, so I asked him about her, but he wouldn't say who she was.

The next week I was hanging out with friends and telling them about my plans to go and meet a handsome new man. I had never met anyone off the Internet before and they were concerned, but I brushed off their fears. “You have to take a look at this guy,” I said. I pulled over one friend's laptop and logged onto Facebook, but I couldn't find Max. “This is weird,” I said. It was like he no longer existed. My friends assured me it was okay, but I felt humiliated.

Did you block me on Facebook? I typed the next time I saw him on IM

Yeah, I did.

And you weren't going to say anything? What for?

I wanted to punish you for being jealous.

Oh. I thought how weird it was to punish me and not tell me. Wouldn't it make more sense to talk about it? To tell me that he thought I was being jealous? How was I supposed to know?

Should I cancel my plans to see you?


Don't ask me why, but I didn't. It was a strange thing for him to do, but I thought we could smooth it all out in person. That was until two weeks before the planned trip, when I was greeted with an unpleasant IM.

I'm not going to be dating for a while. I seem to have gotten someone pregnant.

The bottom dropped out of my world. My stomach felt like it was plummeting. Feel like telling me who she is? Someone new? An ex? Who?


After what I've shown you, I feel like I deserve to know.


Well then, good luck to you I guess, I typed and logged off.

I had a plane ticket bought and paid for on a proofreader's salary. My coworkers said I could probably get it changed to visit my parents. It hit me in the gut that he had talked me into this, that he didn't offer to pay, that he didn't care that he had left me with this ticket on my credit card.

Six months later I was startled by another IM from Max. For a second I couldn't remember whose screen name it was.


Hey, aren't you a dad by now?

That's over, she miscarried. So, if you still want to come out...

I finally snapped out of it. Like a fever breaking, he didn't have the power over me anymore. I knew I would never meet him and that it was best for me that I not.

I don't think so.

It didn't occur to me until years later that the reason he didn't ever want to talk on the phone was that with instant messaging, he could have a whole bunch of girls hooked up to his webcam feed at once. He could have been saying dirty things to any number of others while talking to me.

Life went on. I dated a number of different people. I tried out able-bodied men (talk about awkward! So not worth it). I moved several times and finally settled down in Pennsylvania.

Plenty of bad boy rednecks there, but still hard to find the paralyzed ones. I got a dog and pulled together a little life. I accepted that I might never fall in love or have a lasting relationship, all I could do was hope that there was a God who cared about my love life.

One day I was out shopping with no makeup on and my long hair in a boring braid. I rounded the corner and stopped short at the sight of a young man in a sexy wheelchair. I knew that profile. I knew the shape of that body. It was him. It was Max. I felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. I suddenly felt weak in the knees. I had only ever seen this man through a computer screen, I almost didn't believe he actually existed. Here he was, though, in my world.

Just my luck, he was even more gorgeous in person. Chiseled jaw and dark brown curls.

“Excuse me, Max?”

“Yeah?” he said with total disinterest, not taking his eyes from the shelf.

“I'm sure you don't remember me. I'm Rosie. I know you from the Internet.”

That got his attention. His startling blue eyes leaped up to meet mine and his cocky grin appeared.

I leaned over behind him, put my hands on his rock-hard shoulders, and took in his deep, musky scent. I put my lips right against his ear, knowing how my breath would tickle and whispered, “All I want is a one night stand.”

He turned his head to me, still grinning. “Let's get out of here.”

Back at his place we didn't even get the lights on before I was on him. The door had barely closed as I pushed his legs together and got mine on either side, my knees against his hips on one side and pressed against his wheels on the other.

Suddenly he was inside me, sliding in easily. I rocked my hips against him, one hand on the back of the chair and moaned in pleasure. The other hand was flung behind me like I was riding a

mechanical bull.

When I came it felt like sand being sucked forcefully back into the ocean with a retreating wave. I fell against him, limp, the sweat on my cheek melting with the sweat on his neck.

“I'm like fucking in love with you,” he said.

I felt warmth spread through me until I realized what a great line it was. “Son of a bitch, you're good.”

“You don't believe me?”

I laughed. “Of course I don't believe you!”

I don't know why I could finally see him and appreciate him exactly as he was. I could enjoy him for sex and forget the rest. Perhaps it was just age and maturity. I could see how silly it was that I ever thought this man was relationship material.

We kept meeting up and I think the regular sex kept me relaxed and cheerful, so I was ready when I finally did meet a cute quad guy in the sci-fi section of the Barnes and Noble and ditched Max for good.

Monday, July 11, 2011

The Adventures of Destiny Girl, Chapter 2 - the Date

The Adventures of Destiny Girl
Chapter 2 - The Date

Destiny Girl arrived at the hospital just moments after the alarm sounded and found two of Madame Mechanica’s copper-clad henchmen handcuffed to a railing, the police surrounding them, weapons drawn. Destiny Girl liked Madame Mechanica - sure she was a super villain bent on world domination, but she was a WOMAN, and to Destiny Girl that meant something...

“Thank god you’re here, Destiny Girl!” said a tall, lean officer as soon as she arrived.

“What’s the situation Officer Reynolds?” asked Destiny girl, hovering there, scanning the area for other threats.

“These two were caught leaving by a back exit, they planted a bomb somewhere, but we have no idea where, and we have no idea when it will go off.”

“Did you ask them??” she said, looking at him with narrowed eyes. She was going to be late for her date, for THIS?

“Ask them? They’re... “

“They are Madame Mechanica’s mostly mechanical minions... god I wish I hadn’t just said that... Anyway, as long as their memory hasn’t been wiped, the location of the bomb will be right...”

Destiny Girl pulled open a brass and copper panel on the chestplate of one of the minions and revealed a control panel with a small screen and several knobs and switches. She turned the knobs and switches until the screen lit up with a dim glow and she was able to rewind the video feed. The police were amazed when she froze the screen image on a pair of hands placing a device full of tubes and wires under a propane tank in the lower level of the hospital.

“That’s amazing, Desitny Girl - we never knew - “ Destiny Girl cut him off and, in a flash, sped to the basement and ripped the bomb out from under the propane tank. She looked at the digital readout and saw it ticking down - 6, 5, 4...

“Oh crap.” she said, blasting out of the hospital at near super-sonic speeds and throwing the bomb at the last possible moment. The explosion threw her back, dazing her and blowing off one of her boots, which she didn’t notice.

“Are you OK Destiny Girl?” Officer Reynolds said as he ran over to where she hovered.

“I’m fine, officer, just a little closer then I like to be to a thermonic blast.” replied Destiny Girl, shaking her head. She saw several officers looking at her legs (something she was acutely aware of in her ‘normal’ life) and realized her boot had fallen off. She shrugged and picked it up.

“Is everyone OK?” she asked, slipping the boot on in one lightning quick motion.

“Everyone is fine, Destiny girl.” Officer Reynolds said, then awkwardly added “Thanks to you.”

“Just doing my job, officer.” Destiny girl said through partially gritted teeth and a forced smile. She waved to the crowd and sped off.

Danielle looked at the clock as she flew into her apartment. “Six minutes, as long as she’s not …” the doorbell rang. “...early. Crap!”

She looked around and caught a reflection of herself in the hall mirror - her hair looked like... well, her hair looked like she had just been blown up by a thermonic explosion. And she was still in her Destiny Girl costume. Perfect.

“Just a minute!” she called out, then using super speed, she undressed, soaked her hair in the shower, wrapped a soft towel around her head, then another around her body, then sat in her wheelchair. She arranged he limp legs as she wheeled to the door. The whole operation had taken just over thirty seconds.

Sheila’s eyes shot open as Danielle opened the door wearing only a towel, and her cheeks immediately turned pink.

“Well I suddenly feel very overdressed.” she said with a nervous giggle.

“Oh, sorry Sheila - took a little longer than I had planned in the shower.” Danielle said warmly. “It can take a little longer sometimes, I’m sure you understand.” she said as she indicated her paralyzed legs.

“Oh no, I understand, it’s fine, really Danielle. You can get dressed, I’ll wait, unless...”

“Unless I want help?” Danielle said, a little too seductively. ‘Try not to scare her off, Danielle..’ she chided herself.

“No, no, I was going to say if you wanted me to come back later, not...”

“It’s OK, I was just teasing Sheila.”

“Oh, oh ok, sorry...” Sheila said, and she looked genuinely disappointed.

“Don’t worry about it, and don’t be so nervous! It’s just my sense of humor. Maybe you can help me get undressed later.” she said with a wink and wheeled into her bedroom.

“What should I wear?” Danielle called from the bedroom, pulling off the towels and spraying on some perfume. While she could dress herself in the blink of an eye, she knew that would be... suspicious, to say the least. Not to mention, she had a feeling Sheila actually liked the fact that she had difficulty doing things, due to her legs. It was a strange thought, but not an unwelcome one. After all, she lived with her ‘limitations’ by choice, didn’t she...

“Stockings.” came Sheilas reply, the smallest of quivers in her voice as she said it.

“And what else?” Danielle asked.

“Nothing.” came the reply from the living room, more confident this time, playful. Sheila was loosening up. This could be a fun night after all.

“And if I actually came out there wearing nothing but a pair of stockings?” Danielle teased.

“I don’t think we’d ever get to dinner..” came Sheila’s honest reply.

“Well I’m hungry, so this will have to do.” said Danielle a minute later as she wheeled into the living room, wearing stockings and a short teal dress that really didn’t cover much when she was seated. Her lap belt was fastened and Danielle knew that the teal dressed made the lap belt - not to mention her wheelchair - particularly pronounced, which she knew Sheila would appreciate.

“So, you mentioned something about dinner?” Danielle said as Shelia stared at her un-apologetically. “And you can put your tongue back in your mouth. Until later, anyway.”

Sheila snapped out if it, embarrassed. “Sorry, I’ve never..”

“It’s OK, I invited you, I knew what I was getting into. At least I hope I know what I’m getting into. So, dinner?”

“Well, there’s a really good little Italian place right down by -”

“Rigatoni’s, right?” Danielle said, trying not to frown to much.

“What, you don’t like it?” Sheila asked, concerned.

“I’ve never tried it. I can’t get in.” Danielle said. “Too many stairs, it’s that little downstairs dining room.”

Sheila put her hand to her mouth. “I didn’t even think of that, I’m really sorry.”

“It happens all the time, most people don’t think of it. I know I didn’t think of it at all until...”
“Danielle, do you mind of I ask - “

“I was waiting for it.” Danielle said. “I’m a little surprised you didn’t ask earlier, the be honest. It’s nothing out of the ordinary, nothing thrilling. I was fourteen, I was riding my bike, and a tanker truck blew a tire, flipped over. I got hit, I blacked out, I woke up in a hospital room in a back and neck brace and couldn’t feel anything below my stomach. I honestly don’t remember that much.”

Danielle remembered a lot more than she admitted, of course. That lone, unmarked tanker truck was carrying an experimental substance that sprayed out from the ruptured tank and soaked her as she lay in the road, barely conscious. She never found out what it was or where it came from, but after a few weeks in the hospital, coming to terms with waking up a paraplegic, she started to notice things, strange things. And then there was the time she woke up on the ceiling...

“It was just a terrible accident.” she finished, pulling her train of thought back to the present. “And this is the result.” she indicated her legs and wheelchair. “Anything else you wanted to ask?”

“Have you always been gay?” Sheila asked, speaking quickly and obviously embarrassed.

“Well, um...” The question took her by surprise and Danielle thought about it for a minute. “I guess... well, I don’t think I was ‘anything’ until after my accident. Since then, I guess I’m more ‘trisexual’ “

“Tirsexual?” Sheila asked, confused.

“Sure - I’ll try anything once...” Danielle said with a flirtatious wink. “Being a teenager and paralyzed, it’s not like I had many options. Girls were just more.. accepting. Things grew from there. How about you?”

“I still remember the day. Freshman year of high school, I opened a teen magazine, saw a girl dressed in a bra and panties as some kind of advertisement, and realized I found her really sexy. Then I spent the rest of high school trying to make sure nobody ever found out.”

“How’d that work out?” Danielle asked.

“Dated a cheerleader senior year.” Sheila said with a smile. “Parents tried to be cool about it, but thought it was a ‘phase’ I would grow out of.”

Danielle wheeled close. “And the wheelchair thing?”

Sheila blushed a little. “I don’t really know... I can’t tell you the day and date when it started, or what triggered it. I just slowly realized that I was attracted to women in wheelchairs... more attracted than ‘regular’ women, anyway. I hope that doesn’t bother you.”

Danielle laughed, a light, lyrical giggle. “Bother me? I’m a paraplegic lesbian, anything that gets me closer to a good night kiss is OK with me.

Sheila leaned down and kissed Danielle on the lips, running her fingers through Danielle’s soft hair. Danielle returned the kiss and caressed Sheila’s cheek. The women remained kissing for what felt like a thousand heartbeats, then Sheila slowly pulled away.

“I didn’t want to wait until the end of the date.” Shelia admitted, her cheeks flushed.

“Neither did I.” Danielle replied, smiling. Now, what did we say about dinner?”

“I think we were talking about ordering pizza and opening a bottle of wine, weren’t we?” Sheila said, sitting in the plush couch. Danielle smiled, then parked her wheelchair and slid onto the couch beside her in a smooth transfer, lifting each limp leg in both hands and sliding it as close to Sheila as she could. Danielle winked and, thought Sheila’s cheeks burned red, she put a hand gently on Danielle’s stocking-clad thigh. Danielle could hear Sheila’s heartbeat quicken. She smiled.

The ultrasonic alert woke Danielle out of a sound sleep - silent alarm triggered at the art museum, shots fired, costumed villains - the usual. Rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, Danielle’s arm brushed against something - Sheila was in bed beside her, snoring gently.

Great. She couldn’t get ONE night off? Not ONE?

Danielle slipped the blankets off silently, then concentrated and rose slowly into the air, trying to disturb the bed as little as possible. She grabbed her Destiny Girl outfit from the secret panel in the ceiling, then headed to the bathroom and, in a lightning fast motion, was dressed and out the bathroom window, streaking towards the art museum, muttering under her breath. It was like the universe had decided she didn’t deserve a normal, healthy relationship for some reason, and it was really frustrating. And she was feeling so good after finally getting laid and -

Destiny Girl stopped dead in midair. Her wheelchair - it was still near the bed, she had flown out of the room. If Sheila woke to find... but she was already hearing the commotion at the museum, she didn’t have time to wait.

She cursed again under her breath and headed to the museum. Hopefully, whatever was going on could be handled quickly... but as she saw the gigantic robotic scorpion that clung vice-like to the side of the building, she feared that wasn’t going to be the case...

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Story - Boys' Night Out

Boys' Night Out By ParaGirl

Jackie answered the door and saw the stack of shipping containers standing next to a man dressed in a brown uniform and holding a clipboard. She signed the shipping document with a shaky hand and the delivery man helped her move the boxes into the living room. The door had barely clicked shut when she locked it and started tearing open the boxes, one at a time.

The first box contained full legbraces, metal and leather and perfectly adjusted for Jackie's legs. There were three pairs of shoes also - black leather shoes, heavy leather boots, and generic looking blue and white tennis shoes - that were all modified to fit securely into the braces. The boots were attached already and Jackie decided those would be OK to start. the box also contained a pair of aluminum forearm crutches, which she adjusted to properly fit her height.

The second box contained a plastic Boston brace that fit her torso snugly and strapped up with five velcro straps.

The final box was the largest and Jackie knew what it must contain - she saved the best for last. She tore open the top of the box, then used the box knife to carefully open the sides as well, so the lightweight custom wheelchair was revealed in a flurry of packing materials and shipping manifests. The wheelchair was dis-assembled, but Jackie soon had the wheels attached and the thick gel cushion fixed to the seat. She slowly sat in the chair and smiled widely as she tested it, wheeling herself a few laps around the large living room. It was perfect!

Soon Jackie was strapping her legs into the long heavy braces, the back brace already locked tightly on her torso and compressing her breasts tightly so that she appeared flat-chested while wearing it. It took her a few tries to get the braces on and the straps tightly fastened, but she felt a thrill as she realized how completely immobile this made her, how crippled she suddenly felt. She stood carefully, balancing on the crutches, and slowly crutched through her apartment with a careful swing-through gait, her braced legs swinging through the crutch uprights, propelling her a foot or so with each laborious step. She went to the kitchen and had a drink of water, then to the bathroom to see her reflection in the tall mirror. She was naked, aside from the heavy braces and a bulky adult diaper, and she shifted side to side, admiring her crippled self.

Soon tired after the hard work of the crutches and braces, Jackie sat slowly and heavily in her new wheelchair. She lifted her legs with her hands, grabbing the braces and pulling her feet up onto the footrests, then unlocked the wheels and began wheeling around the apartment again, this time straightening up and cleaning, doing a few simple chores, learning how to live like a paralyzed girl. She never used her legs, never moved them at all, other than with her hands. It made her hot, excited to think of it.

Jackie was feeling more and more aroused as her day of paralyzed exploration rolled on. A particularly hard struggle to reach a box on the counter made her extra horny and, looking at her reflection, she decided she knew what she wanted to do. She wheeled to her bedroom and began to remove her bulky diaper, seeing how aroused she was. She opened a drawer and dug through until she found what she wanted - her jelly dong, a soft pink double ended dildo with the rigidity of a flaccid cock - just what she was looking for. With a little lubrication, she pushed half of the dildo into her aroused sex, letting the other half - over eight inches in length - flop between her braced legs.

Jackie wheeled herself to the bathroom again and sat in front of the mirror as she began to stroke the flaccid pink cock that popped out from between her crippled legs. She used more lube and stroked it up and down, just like a real para cock, jerking it off and feeling no reaction, just soft limp flesh between her legs. She kept going, pumping her cock as she watched in her wheelchair, and became incredibly turned on, seeing her crippled body, the heavy braces, the wheelchair, and yes, especially that limp cock. She was feeling more and more like a crippled boy and, as she masturbated the soft cock she would never feel, she came in a low, intense orgasm that made her moan loudly, closing her eyes. Once she was done, she had a final look, then picked up a pair of scissors. She knows what she wants to do.

Jackie lowered her braced legs off the bed and slowly struggled to stand up, using the bed and her crutches to gain her balance. She slowly moves out of the bedroom to the bathroom, again checking the full length mirror. She wears a tailored men’s shirt, and she is pleased to see that her torso brace gives her a very masculine shape underneath the cotton shirt. The shirt is tucked into a well fitting pair of men’s slacks, slightly oversized to hide the heavy braces and diaper she wears. Her hair is now short, with a part on the side in a very masculine style. She feels the bulge of her flaccid cock inside her diaper, making her feel even more masculine as she looks at the crippled boy staring back at her from the mirror. Only her face still shows the gentle curves of femininity, but just barely, and she knows that will be overlooked by most people she meets.

Finally satisfied, Jackie smiles and crutches out of the bathroom and out of the apartment as a crippled boy, dragging her braced legs behind her, looking for excitement...

Monday, June 13, 2011

Story - The Secret Identity

The Secret Identity By ParaGirl

Originally posted in the Wheelchair Fiction yahoo group

One minute, the bank robbers were standing there pointing automatic weapons at the bank tellers. The next - there was a blur of magenta and gold and the four armed thugs lay in a pile, unconscious, with their weapons bent or broken on the floor.

Everyone looked around and saw the magenta-clad Destiny Girl floating in mid-air, her cape shimmering as she hovered, smiling. Her eyes sparked gold under her magenta and black domino mask.

“Is anyone hurt?” she asked the crowd, who were still in shock at the turn of events. They looked over one another and the bank manager finally stepped forward.

“I - I think we’re OK, Destiny Girl.” he said with a stammer. “They were so fast, We.. We didn’t even have time to hit the silent alarm. How did you know?”

“It’s my job to know, sir.” she said with a flourish, then added “I think the police will be able to handle it from here - I’ve already alerted them, I hear the sirens already. I’m glad nobody got hurt.” and with that, she flew out the open doors and into the midday sky.

Destiny Girl (Whose real name was Danielle) looked around carefully to make sure nobody was looking, then quickly grabbed the duffel bad holding her clothes and changed in a lightning-fast maneuver that most people would have only seen as a blur. She lowered herself into her titanium sport wheelchair and arranged her limp legs, freshened her hair, fastened the nylon padded lap belt, and wheeled out into the midday sun. She wheeled down the sidewalk to the cafe across from the bank, where she had been trying to get her iced mocha latte before she was so rudely interrupted.

“Hey Danielle, you just missed her!” Carlos said behind the counter, already mixing her drink.

“Missed who, Lady GaGa?” Danielle said as she wheeled up to the counter and put her credit card through the machine.

“No, Destiny Girl.” Carlos said, an exasperated smile across his face. Danielle loved to tease him and they constantly bantered back and forth about her. Danielle thought it was cute how in love Carlos was with her super-powered alter-ego, even though he was very openly gay.

“Oh her - what was she doing, making a deposit?” Danielle loved to goad him on.

“Try saving the bank from like a dozen heavily armed bank robbers.” he said, his eyes glassing over as he imaged the daring scene. “I heard one of them had a bazooka, but it didn’t even phase her, she laughed it off.”

Danielle was always amazed at how her exploits grew almost exponentially as people retold them. In less than 15 minutes she had already laughed off a bazooka attack. She smiled up at Carlos.

“I’m sure she was awesome Carlos - almost as awesome as your mocha latte.” She smiled. “So, has Destiny girl ever come in for a coffee?” She chided, pointing at the hand lettered sign in the window saying ‘No Charge for Destiny Girl’.

“No.” He sighed. “But some day I’m sure she will, I just know it!”

“I’m sure she will.” Danielle said. “I hope I’m here to see it.”

Danielle wheeled down the street, managing to avoid ignorant pedestrians paying more attention to their cell phones than the woman in the wheelchair, at the same time sipping her perfect mocha latte. She really could save some money if she took some of these shopkeepers up on their offers - half the businesses in town had put signs up proclaiming ‘No charge for Destiny Girl’ since her debut ten months before, stopping a runaway bus from plunging into the river. She had been tempted, definitely, but that was a slippery slope that, at best, would look like she was endorsing businesses or products and, at worst, could even result in someone recognizing her from the neighborhood.

She still worried that, some day, Carlos or someone else she had daily dealings with would see her up close as Destiny Girl and would recognize her. She’d just have to rely on her secret identity - and the fact that there were no other heroes (that she knew of, anyway) who were paraplegics. Blind, sure - she knew three off the top of her head. Amputees, too - they always got the high tech bionic augmentations, like ‘Scissorkick’ with his ultra high tech legs and ‘WhipCrack’ with the extend-able whips that came out of his prosthetic hands. She thought she knew a super-villain too, ‘Crimson Claw’, who had his hands replaced with razor-sharp claws of some indestructible space alloy, but she wasn’t completely sure about that one.

Danielle made it to her apartment and wheeled around the back. One of the great ironies of her life - the amazing Destiny Girl, unstoppable by anything but a short flight of stairs at the front door.

Finally in her apartment, she tossed the empty latte cup in the trash and put her bag down, then wheeled to her computer. By day, when she wasn’t busting criminals, she was a blogger and disability rights expert who wrote for several publications, both online and in print. She logged into her latest article, about a new public building that had somehow been built without a ramp, and then took out her notepad with several juicy quotes from the building contractor who had somehow ‘misplaced’ the original plans for the building. He assured her - all the time looking nervously at her wheelchair and wringing his hands - that the building would be fully accessible within two months.

Three hours later and the article was finished and sent to her editor and she was headed for the gym. She packed her gym bag with the basics and wheeled out to meet sheila, her personal trainer.

“Hey Sheila.” she said with a smile, wheeling into the well equipped gym. Sheila smiled that warm, special smile of hers and said hello back.”

“So what are we going to work on today?” Danielle asked, taking a quick swig from her sports bottle.

“Last time we worked the shoulders hard, today we’ll go with biceps and triceps.” she said, setting up a padded bench and taking out some weights.

“I was thinking we could work on my legs.” Danielle teased, wheeling up to the bench. Sheila grabbed her limp legs and helped her transfer onto the weight bench, then strapping her on.

“I think we’d need a private session for that.” Sheila said, without missing a beat, her cheeks turning red. Danielle knew Sheila was a devotee, though the topic had never ‘officially’ come up. She wasn’t ready to talk about it, but Danielle kept hinting. Danielle didn’t identify with ‘lesbian’ or ‘heterosexual’, she just wanted a date, someone who could look beyond the chair and, maybe some day, beyond the secret identity. Another irony of her life, she mused - Destiny Girl could defeat Captain Chaos and his mechanical minions in an afternoon, but Danielle couldn’t land a date with a woman who actually had a fetish for paralyzed legs. She laughed to herself.

“What’s so funny?” Sheila said, helping Danielle with the weights. Danielle had to remember to appear like she was straining a bit with the twenty pound dumbbells.

“Just thinking.” she said with a smile. “I will get you over to my apartment some day.”

“I know you will...” said Sheila, then seemed to make a decision. “How about Friday?”

“How about tonight.” Danielle said without skipping a beat, doing slow measured curls with the weights as she spoke. She had thought about this scene a hundred times, and she knew if she gave Sheila the opportunity to think about it too much, she’s chicken out. She wanted to strike with the fire was still hot, as it were. She realized she had used similar tactics against Baron Nocturna a month before. Her life was really complicated.

“Sure.” Sheila said, her voice a little shaky. “Tonight, seven o’clock.”

“You know where I live?” Danielle asked, suddenly feeling excited and, could it be, nervous? She could fight giant killer robots from Mars without breaking a nail, but a date with a pretty girl had her palms sweating. Complicated life indeed.

For the rest of the workout Danielle talked about dinner plans and Sheila tried to turn the date into a ‘friends getting together’ kind of meetup, but by the end of the session Danielle was teasing Sheila by asking what she wanted for breakfast and Sheila had just given in and said ‘Waffles with a side of you’ with a big pink-cheeked embarrassed grin.

Danielle quickly wheeled into the adapted shower and cleaned up, then headed home to order a dinner delivery and tidy things up for Sheila. She wanted everything to be just perfect, and she decided it would be easiest to close all the blinds tight and use a little ‘super speed’ to clean the place up. It was risky - anyone seeing her floating about the apartment out of her wheelchair would immediately know she was a super - but for this, her first date since the accident, she wanted everything to be perfect.

And that’s when it all went wrong...

“Urgent call for Destiny Girl - there is a bomb in Metro Hospital, we need your help.” came across the special radio frequency that she had set up with local law enforcement. They only used it when it was truly a crisis, and this sounded like a big one, bomb in a hospital was pretty bad. She looked at the clock - 5:55. Just over an hour before Sheila was going to be there.

Danielle sighed and shook her head, then floated out of her wheelchair and changed into her Destiny Girl costume in a flash, then shot out of the apartment headed to Metro Hospital. Just over an hour - it was possible she’d be done by then, but she wouldn't have too much time to clean up. She flew at near supersonic speeds and hoped this would be a quick one...

Friday, May 27, 2011

Hey video producers - want a script??

So I've seen a few of the new 'Para fantasy' videos out there, like ParaDays from, or Paraplegic Jackie and Lucy Paraplegic Story from MedicBrace. Some are decent, some are way off base, but I feel like none of them really 'Get It' as far as true wheelchair fetish material goes.

All of them seem to have the women recovering at the end, which is a pet peeve of mine, and none of them really go into a lot of the things that para and wheelchair fetish fans want, like talking about the accident, a scene where they are examined, the great 'can you feel this' scene, maybe some interactions with other people, etc... the best so far is 'Lucy' from MedicBrace - it's got a GREAT opening scene where Lucy gets hit by a car and winds up in the hospital, nice cervical collar, and then a little exam scene and the diagnosis. Even subtitled, it's a hot scene to para fans and fetishists, I promise. We want more!

And of course anyone who is a fan of my blog also knows I want to see erotica - what about the first time she's alone and touches herself? Such a potentially hot scene!! Discuss diapers, try a vibrator, play with her nipples and realize they are more sensitive...

There is a LOT of potential and some companies are starting to do more para and wheelchair fetish material, so here's what I want to do. I have THREE script outlines for para/wheelchair fetish videos. One standard 'girl gets hurt, winds up in a hospital paralyzed' type, one 'highly erotic' script, and a 'wannabe gets her wish' script. If any video production company wants to talk to me about producing one or more of my scripts, email me (paracathy at hotmail) and we can talk details. I won't charge much, I promise. And you HAVE to be a real producer, not some guy who wants a Paragirl script to act out with his girlfriend... I can and will check.

Think about it - you can produce a video officially scripted by THE paragirl... And I'll promote the hell out of it too. Seems a win-win to me :)

Finally, to anyone who wants me to just post the scripts - nope. I'm only going to share them with whoever wants to produce the videos, and if they want to post them to drum up sales, they're welcome to. BUT if people post positive comments here or forward this post to their favorite video production company to show it has community support, it might make this more likely to happen, right??