Thursday, May 24, 2012

So it's been six months...

The article in New Mobility, though meaning well and being an exciting thing, was the start of a very shitty timespan for me, unfortunately.  It started with fallout from the article and the various reposts by people like Roger Ebert.  There were death threats (And people wonder why I'm not open with my full identity and don't give out info like my phone number...) my facebook and flickr accounts were deleted due to 'complaints against terms of service', I got flooded - literally flooded - with hate mail.  I still have 176 emails un-opened in my inbox, and those are just the ones that 'might' not be hate mail.  I deleted several hundred more that were obvious.

On top of that, my job issues went from bad to worse - they moved all second and third shift positions to India, and I wasn't eligible for a day shift position (because day shift was already full), so I was laid off.

On the job hunt again, I made a pretty heartbreaking decision - because I didn't have any medical reason or medical proof that I needed a wheelchair for mobility, I decided that I could not search for a new job as a full time wheeler, and so I have 'recovered' and am back to using my chair only at home in private and occasionally out in public. I spent about 4 months unemployed and just got a rather crappy day shift retail job about a month ago.  It pays less than my customer service job and to add insult to injury, I'm on my feet pretty much all day, which just kind of sucks out my soul after a while.

There was a silver lining, however - as crazy as that sounds.  For one - Heather never left my side, she's been awesome, and this has proven that our relationship is stronger than ever.  Second, even though the New Mobility article fallout was overall craptastic, there was also a lot of support and I was even approached by a couple different TV shows related to my wannabe and pretender lifestyle.  I couldn't do those, obviously, but it showed me that there is support and interest in me and my lifestyle, and so there might be more interest in my book...

And speaking of my book, the plans for that are going through a bunch of changes and morphing into something different.  I have started writing more stories about me personally - how I became who I am, more about my thoughts and ideas on this fetish and the D/P/W scene in general, and some in-depth discussion of who I am and why.  I may add fictional erotica stories as well, but honestly I think if I add in a lot of my sexual fantasies and go in depth about my various fetishes, the book will be plenty steamy for people who are looking for that.  If I do that, then I will post some of the new fiction and completed stories I wrote for the original anthology book onto the website.  This includes the completion of 'A New Arrangement', which seems to be a fan favorite.  Ideally I could sell tens of thousands of books and not have to work on this crappy job any more, but I need to finish the book first - I'll get on that.

So that's my story, that's what has occurred in the last 6 months or so - you can probably see why I have been keeping a low profile.  I'll probably still be keeping a lower profile than I used to, and online erotic chatting is likely a thing of the past with my new job, etc... but that was a really bad habit anyway, so I'm probably better off without it, right?

Thanks for the words of support and encouragement, I'll be posting a bit more often now...


  1. Hi Paragirl,

    I pity you for what happened. I hope things will change soon and your live goes on like you wish.


  2. Please know there are also many people out there who understand and support you, and are very grateful to you for sharing your experiences and creativity. Thank you!

  3. Cathy--

    Welcome back! I'm sorry for all you've been through, it must be especially frustrating to have to give up full-time pretending, but I'm sure if you put your energy into writing you'll find some fulfillment.

    And BTW, as someone who often spends a chunk of the day doing amputee roleplay chats when I'm supposed to be working, yeah, it's a really bad habit. :)

  4. i cant wait to read a cathy story, you were and are the best author online

  5. Sorry for all the troubles that you have had. Hope things turn out for the better and can't wait to read the book!!!!

  6. I think it's a bad idea. I love your stories, and I'd pay to read more of them. But I would not pay to read your bio or your thought about yourself. that's just boring blabla, as I know most of it and have read it in different forms from different people, that I don't think you can bring in a new perspective.

    so effectively you give me everything I want for free, even though I'd pay for it. you should come up with a solution for that ;)


  7. Dear Cathy,

    I'm a journalist based in the UK and I was very interested to discover your blog. I write for all the newspapers over here and also for a number of women's magazines and I would love to be able to tell them your story and why you do what you do. The story would, of course, be written sensitively, nothing would be published without your consent and you would also be paid a fee on publication in a women's magazine. To find out more about the company I work for, visit or take a look at our Facebook page at to see some of our recent work.

    I look forward to hearing from you soon,
    Sharon Baker
    HotSpot Media
    +44(0)121 5511004

  8. Great to see you back. I was worried about you, especially after the tone of your last few posts. But I'm glad you haven't given up. I'm sure you've heard it before, but it's worth saying again that the haters don't deserve the attention they demand. You still have plenty of supporters and compatriots out here, even if we aren't very vocal. Sorry about that.

    It's also nice to hear that Heather was there for you. You're lucky to have each other.


  9. What happened to the newer blog, with Melody, who was blind and a paraplegic? I was really into the story and loved the added pics. I'm glad you're back and hope you keep writing, especially the stories that involve someone being blind and using a wheelchair. :)

  10. Just wanted to let you know that you've got my support. I've liked every story you've ever written, and I envy your lifestyle. Pay no attention to the nay-sayers. You understand and write about the scary, fucked-up things in my head, and it makes me feel so much better to know that I'm not the only one. I really look forward to seeing more stories from you.