STORY - Blind Girl's Bluff...

blind Girls' Bluff - By Paracathy

Lisa took a deep breath, sat on the edge of the bed, and blinked twice. Her hands were shaking. She stared at the unlabeled bottle of clear fluid that sat on her bedside table and reached out her hand to take it, then retracted it. She breathed in again and grabbed the bottle, squirting the clear fluid into both eyes, flooding them completely before she could rethink her decision. She dropped the bottle as the cool, stinging sensation hit both her eyes simultaneously, working from the front to the back, until it felt like the coolness was behind her eyes, just above her cheekbones and sinuses.
Lisa closed her eyes, lay down on the bed, and cried until she fell asleep.

Morning came via a chiming alarm clock as Lisa immediately realized the bright morning sun streaming through her bedroom window was a thing of the past. Her world was totally, utterly black. Beyond black, really, something impossible for Lisa to describe, even to herself. She had a dull, throbbing headache at her temples and felt dizzy, unsteady as she lay in her soft bed. She knew the headache was a side effect of the drugs, but the dizziness she wasn't sure about. She sat up carefully and was immediately disoriented, feeling almost nauseous as she sat upright. She lay back down, her breathing shallow, almost panicked. She thought she knew what to expect, thought she understood what being blind would be like, but this was very different from walking around the house with a blindfold on, very different from tapping around the living room wearing dark sunglasses and a broomstick handle cane.

It was the only way, it was all going to be worth it. That was Lisa's mantra, and she repeated it over and over again as she lay in bed and tried to become accustomed to the situation, tried to calm her mind and come to terms with...

Blindness. Not 'her situation' she told herself. Blindness. Complete, irreversible blindness, incurable after one hour of contact with the drugs. The alarm went off after seven hours, give or take. That meant that not only was she completely blind, but all traces of the drug would also be flushed from her system.

That thought led to another - Lisa had to pee, and she needed to do it soon. In her blind state, the other messages sent by her body were coming through loud and clear now. She felt her way to the edge of the bed and swung her feet off, slipping to the floor to stand. It felt for an instant like she was free-falling from some great height and she gasped, then her feet touched the floor and she steadied herself. How far to the bathroom? She stood, still feeling slightly dizzy, and held her hands out in front of her, waving them as if she were feeling her way across the room. After three steps she stubbed her toe hard against something and found herself disoriented, her big toe throbbing.

Her need to pee was becoming urgent and she realized that finding her way to her bathroom was going to be more difficult than she had imagined. Deciding that pride was the least of her needs now, Lisa crouched slowly, carefully to the ground and then began to feel her way across the floor of her room, finding the wall, then slowly making it to the door, then the hallway.

It took her ten minutes, but she made her way to the toilet and sat, feeling amazing relief as she urinated. She cleaned herself, groped blindly for the flush handle, then felt her way to the sink. She washed her hands and splashed water on her face - it felt amazing and incredibly refreshing, she noted - and then felt her way slowly, deliberately to the living room. She felt her way to the door, found the deadbolt, and un-locked it. She then crawled to the couch, sat, and picked up the phone.

"This is 911 what is the nature of your emergency?" the cool woman's voice said over the phone. Lisa tried to build up as much fear and panic as she could before she replied - she found it wasn't nearly as difficult as she had thought.

"I just woke up and, I'm not sure what's going on, but I can't see. I think I'm blind..." she said with a panting edge of terror.

"OK ma'am, try to stay calm. How old are you?" the voice asked, all business as she immediately understood the seriousness of the call.

"I'm 22." Lisa said. "Born August 11th."

"And what is your address, ma'am?" the 911 operator asked,

Lisa gave her address and stayed on the phone, switching between nervous chatter and quiet sobbing, until she heard a knock on the door.

"Paramedics, did someone call 911?" asked the deep bass voice from outside the apartment.

"In here." Lisa called and she heard the door open, heard heavy footsteps on the hardwood floors.

"Can you tell me what happened, Miss?" the deep bass voice said from somewhere very close. She had rehearsed this part very thoroughly, over and over again.

"I'm not sure." she said, unevenly. "I went to bed early last night with a headache, it was throbbing, but I figured it was just stress. I took a couple Tylenol and went to bed. I woke up to my alarm this morning and..." at this, she started to cry and started feeling around in front of her, slightly panicky. she felt a strong, warm hand take her.

"It's OK, let's just check a few things." the deep voice said. "I'm going to be touching you - it may feel disorienting, but I need to examine you. Please don't be afraid, OK?"

Lisa nodded, then felt the warm hands on her face, felt them open her right eye wide, then her left. Heard clicking and scratching noises she couldn't place. All the while, she heard and felt so much, but saw nothing. Not a flicker, not a shadow - the blindness was complete and total.

"Miss, to your knowledge have you been exposed to any type of cemical or gas?" he asked.

"I'm not sure what you mean?" Lisa said, trying to sound convincing. This was the key, if she got this right, it would all be worthwhile.

"Have you been exposed to anything unusual in the last seven days, like a cleaner or air freshener or other chemical?"

"Well, there was plan spraying at my office on Thursday, I think - yes, Thursday."

"Not just someone watering the plants?" the deep voice asked.

"No." Lisa shook her head. It made her feel dizzy. "We do all the watering ourselves. This was fertilizer or something. The guy had a green and yellow uniform, I remember that." she said, then suddenly started crying and sobbing loudly. "Oh god, I can barely remember what yellow and green look like... oh god what's happening to me?" she asked. She felt a comforting hand holding hers.

"Calm down miss, try to calm down. There's no indication this is permanent, it could be a simple allergic reaction."

Lisa knew he was lying - by this time her eyes had turned a milky white and it would have been obvious to anyone that the damage was irreversible, but Lisa played along.

"Really? It might... might not be permanent?" she asked, still sobbing quietly.

"We wont' know until we get you to the hospital, miss. We're going to help you onto a stretcher - it's just a precaution, OK?"

Lisa nodded and let two sets of strong, confident hands move her onto the stretcher and strap her down across her legs and chest, as an added precaution.

The ride to the hospital was a world of new sensations, from the feeling of the bumps in the road to the sounds of the radio chatter. the deep voiced paramedic, whose name was Rob, kept talking to her, trying to keep her calm, telling her not to think the worst. Lisa noticed that nobody else was talking, though.

Lisa had been in the emergency room, listening to a cacophony of sounds - beeping monitors, crying children, moaning patients, chattering nurses and doctors, but she was quickly moved to a private room. Nurses drew blood carefully, talking to Lisa all the time, making sure she knew what was happening the whole time, explaining each step they were taking. Lisa noted that they seemed almost rehearsed at the situation, as if people suddenly stricken blind happened often. That was good, that was very good.

"I'm Dr. Stafford." came a light, feminine voice. "I'm going to be examining you, OK?"

"Yes, I understand." Lisa said, turning her head in the direction of the voice. "Can you tell me what's happened? Why can't I see?" she said nervously, like someone who didn't want to hear the answer.

Lisa heard the woman's shoes squeak subtly across the floor and hear the distinct moan of a desk chair being sat in beside her.

"Lisa, I have to be honest with you. It looks like you have been exposed to a chemical agent that, in a small percentage of people, has been shown to cause blindness."

Lisa gasped as the doctor continued.

"The chemical is found in a brand of spray-able plant fertilizer. We have confirmed that it was the fertilizer that was being used in your office building up until Friday."

"Well..." Lisa stammered a bit. "What do we do now? Is there a pill or something?"

"Lisa." the doctor was very serious and clinical, yet Lisa could hear the compassion in her voice clearly. Lisa felt the woman take her hand and hold it between hers. "Lisa, I'm afraid that the damage is permanent. Irreversible."

Lisa was silent, her heart thumping fast - she hoped it came across as panic, not excitement. When she didn't say anything, the doctor continued.

"We will enroll you in an occupational rehab center tonight. IT's a very good program, and in a few months -"

"A few months?" Lisa said with genuine surprise. She hadn't counted on months of rehab.

"Yes Lisa, after a few months you'll be able to live on your own, get back to your life, things will get mostly back to normal."

"Mostly?" Lisa asked.

"Well, I won't lie to you Lisa - being blind is not something you're likely to just 'get used to'. Living with a disability can be a daily challenge, but you can still live a healthy and fulfilling life."

Lisa just sat, she could feel tears streaming down her face as she contemplated the rest of her life, blind, feeling her way around, fumbling and tripping over herself. Was it really worth it? It had to be, she told herself. It just had to be.

The rehab center was nice- well, it sounded nice, anyway, and it was warm. Lisa was led to an office where she recited a lot of her general information - allergies, next of kin, occupation. Lisa noticed with interest, however, that they never asked her about her insurance. Again, she thought to herself, this was a very good thing.

Next a nurse led her to a room, Lisa holding onto the woman's elbow and slowly putting one foot in front of the other, always feeling disoriented, like she was going to fall with each progressive step.

"I won't let you fall, honey." the nurse said warmly.

"Shouldn't I have a cane or something?" Lisa asked. She didn't know if it was rude or stupid, but it was the first thing that came to her mind.

"Maybe tomorrow or the next day - that will be your first lesson. Until you understand how to use it, though, you'd likely just hurt yourself or someone else, waving it around like you're looking for a pinata. Trust me - this is a good program. You'll be out on your own in no time."

"If you say so." Lisa said, following the woman's confident lead.

"so what are you in for?" Came a loud, high-pitched, feminine voice as they entered Lisa's new room. Lisa jumped.

"Rebecca, you know you have to keep your voice down." the nurse said. "Sorry Lisa, I didn't realize Becky would be home."

"Hi." Lisa said to nobody in particular. "I'm Lisa. And, as you can probably tell, I'm blind.."

"No way I could really know that, Lisa." Came Rebecca's voice, the volume greatly diminished. "As I think we're in the same club here. Woke up Friday completely blind. Plant spray, or so they tell me."

"Same here." said Lisa, allowing herself to be seated on a plush bed. "Got hit Thursday at work, apparently."

"Hey, Nurse Donna, how about you sit her over here so we're not yelling across the room at each other?"

"Would that be OK, Lisa?" the nurse asked.

"Sure, I think I'd appreciate the company." Lisa said truthfully. This was fast becoming overwhelming and Lisa needed whatever kind of connections she could make before she broke down again. The nurse helped her over to what felt like a sofa or loveseat and sat her next to Becky.

"Scary, huh?" Becky said as they both heard the nurse leave the room, her crepe soles making smaller and smaller squeaking noises as she walked down the hallway.

"Yeah." Lisa said truthfully. "You go to bed able to see and..."

"In your sleep, wow. That's got to be rough. Still - it happened to me at work, middle of the afternoon. Started with a bad headache, splashed some water on my face. Eyes were all red. That's the last thing I remember seeing - my red, bloodshot eyes. Twenty minutes later I was in an ambulance, screaming in panic I'm ashamed to say. Now, my eyes are milky white - or so they tell me. Yours too, I'd bet."

"I... I didn't..." Lisa said. She hadn't really thought about what had happened to her eyes. It didn't really matter, of course - but in a way it did.

"It's OK Lisa." said Becky, and Lisa felt Becky's warm hand rest on her thigh. It pulled back quickly. "Sorry." Becky said, a note of embarrassment in her voice.

"Don't be." said Lisa. "Seems touch is one of the few things we've got left."

"Yeah, I guess so." said Becky. "Hey, do you mind if..."

"What?" Lisa asked.

"If I looked at your face. I mean, with my hands..."

"Sure, I guess so." Lisa said, turning towards Becky's voice. She fely Becky's hands begin to touch her, feeling her arm, then her stomach, then up to her breasts, neck, until they found her face. She found the sensation oddly comforting, even exciting. Becky's hands touched her face gently, tracing the curve of her cheeks, the smooth line of her chin, her soft eyebrows, her closed eyelids, the gentle slope of her nose, her soft, moist lips.

"You're very pretty." Becky said. Her voice was closer than Lisa expected. Becky's hands were caressing, comforting... sensual....

Lisa felt her way up Becky's thigh, to her stomach, over the swell of her breasts. She felt Becky's erect nipple through her thin shirt. Felt her smooth neck, felt the muscles contract in a nervous swallow, then moved up to her face.

It felt narrow, slightly angular, with high, soft cheeks and wide eyes. Her lips seemed thin, soft, and Lisa could feel her cheeks contract upwards in a smile.

"Like what you see?" Becky said softly, and then without warning they were kissing, touching each others' faces, then lower, with growing urgency. Lisa felt Becky's warm tongue probing her mouth and she did the same, tasting this stranger that she would never actually see...

Becky pulled away suddenly, startling Lisa. "I'm sorry, I was..." Lisa started to stammer as she felt Becky get off the couch, heard soft footfalls across the room, heard the door squeak slowly shut, heard the click of the lock on the door. She felt Becky take her hand and she stood there, letting Becky's hands trace the lines of her body until, before long, her clothes had dropped to the floor. She felt Becky and willed her shaking hands to do the same, finding every clasp, button and buckle and undoing it until all she could feel of her roommate was warm, soft, bare skin. They felt there way to the plush bed and, without speaking, explored every inch of each others' naked bodies, taking in every sensation, 'seeing' with their fingertips, gasping, kissing, licking....

The nurses said nothing when they came in the next morning and found Becky and Lisa in the same bed, naked and covered with disheveled blankets. They helped the two women get dressed and led them to their rehab classes. The first half of the day was just listening to long, tedious discussions about what 'being blind' meant. Even though she obviously couldn't see her, Lisa knew Becky was there, sitting near her. There were others in the room too - three others. An older woman, a younger girl, high school student, and a man who had worked for a greenhouse - all had been exposed to the same chemical. Ironically, Lisa thought to herself, she was the only person in the room whose blindness wasn't caused by the plant food. Of course nobody could ever know that....

They began to relearn basic, simple tasks in the afternoon - identifying household objects, eating and drinking (much more difficult than Lisa ever imagined) and, finally, cane work. Lisa had imagined that once she held her white cane in her hands and began tapping around, it would magically make her condition more manageable. In reality, it just gave her one more thing to try and think about as she blindly walked around an unfamiliar space. She got constant encouragement from her coaches, and she heard Becky getting the same from a short distance away. Finally, after what seemed like a number of hours, they broke for dinner.

"OK gang, let's use what we learned at dinner. Everyone's place settings will be set up the same way we practiced, and the coaches will be around to help if needed, but you're encouraged to try it on your own." said one of the coaches - or possibly a nurse, Lisa wasn't sure. She followed the voices guiding the class out of the room and into the hallway, gently yet deliberately tapping her cane side to side until she found the edge where the wall met the floor. The tapping sounds in the hallway slowly became a gentle, sliding noise as all five blind students started following the wall as instructed.

"Becky?" Lisa said quietly, and Becky's reply came from just behind her.

"Right here Lisa." she said.

"Dinner?" Lisa asked, and she could almost hear the smile that came with her positive response.

"I'd love to." she said, and both women made their way to the caffeteria and sat at the same table. They ate in relative silence - focusing on where their food was and how to get it into their mouths took more concentration than Lisa had every expected, but they both wound up finishing their meals without needing help from the aides. Not everyone was so lucky, from the sound of it - in the middle of dinner someone, Lisa thought likely the high school girl - dropped something and then broke down, crying and sobbing. She was helped out of the room and dinner continued even more silently, if that was possible.

Half way back to their room, Lisa following Becky and looking forward to more 'training' once they were alone, Lisa heard her name being called.

"Lisa, you have a phone call dear." said one of the front desk women. Lisa followed her, allowing herself to be led by the arm more than using her cane, and took the phone as it was placed in her hand.

"Lisa? Lisa is that you?" came the panicked voice.

"Samantha, hi cousin, how's it going?" Lisa said, trying to sound nonchalant. She had expected this, of course, but it didn't make it any easier.

"That big case my boss is working on, that one I told you about on Thursday? Your name just popped up on it, along with a few others. What's going on??"

"Well, yeah, I guess... I guess that the company doing our plant spraying was using the same chemical. I guess they hadn't gotten the memo that it was dangerous." Lisa said, her voice cracking a little. "And you know all the plants in the lobby where I work... "

"So you're...." came Samantha's reply.

"As a bat." replied Lisa. She realized she was crying again. "So, how's that case going? got a court date yet?"

"No need." Samantha said quietly, realization dawning on her.

"How much?" Lisa asked, dropping all pretense.

"At least ten million." Samantha said.

"Each?" Lisa said. Her heart leapt.

"Each. At least." Samantha said.

"I'll buy you something nice." Lisa said. Samantha said something unintelligible and hung up.

Lisa tapped her way back to her room, asking one of the nurses' aides for help, and as soon as she got in she closed the door and locked it behind her.

"What's up babe? Everything OK?" Becky said. Lisa slipped off her shirt and bra and felt her way over to Becky.

"Yeah babe, everything is just fine." she said into Becky's ear. "We've got some celebrating to do tonight."

"What are we celebrating, the invention of braille?" Becky asked sarcastically, her hands caressing Lisa's breasts.

"No. We're celebrating my flunking out of law school two months ago..." Lisa said, smiling wide and running her sensitive fingers through Becky's hair.