Monday, July 12, 2010

Better to be Thin

So I've been reading a lot lately about various diet pills and even popular low calroie sweeteners like Aspartame, and how very, very bad they are for us, yet we - and by 'we' I do lump in most women - will still take them, try them, use them no matter what because let's face it, most women will do ANYTHING to be thinner and sexier... So I had this weird idea about 'how far would a woman go to be thin and beautiful' and then 'What if that trend caught on?' - well, the story below is what happens there...

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Better to be thin than.... By ParaCathy

It started right after the holidays with a massive ad-blitz campaign for ‘ReJoi’, an ‘herbal cream rub’ that reduced sub-dermal fat and cellulite the ‘natural and safe’ way. It was an instant smash hit - it flew off the shelves like bottled water in the Gobi desert and stores - even major chain retailers - could not keep it stocked. One reason for this was, unlike every other ‘acai berry’ fly by night quack remedy, ReJoi seemed to work - and work well - especailly around the hips, thighs, and stomach areas. It was like a miracle drug, and women all over the country were using it daily and seeing really impressive results.

In March the first reports started coming out, warnings about ‘rare side effects’ that included nerve de-sensitization in the areas the cream was used. There was not much coverage on these claims and ReJoi continued to be a nationwide best seller, with women singing it’s praises far and wide. In apparently unrelated news, the spring fashion circuit across the US featured bold new designs in boots, with many new thigh-high designs, most adorned with brightly colored plastic or metallic plates that made the boots look almost rigid...

Though Summer bikini season saw an unprecedented rise in web discussion praising ReJoi for helping literally millions of women get into the most slinky and revealing new swimsuit designs, it also saw very few people actually going to the beaches. Reasons given were varied, from the hotter than average heat waves to the unnaturally cool temperatures to fear of shark attack, but beach useage was confirmed by the national park services to be at an all time low for the months of July and August. In unrelated US fashion news, silver-tipped canes, in clear acrylic or gloss ebony black, were fast becoming the hottest fashion trends among women, along with multiple new lines of the ultra-trendy thigh-high boots.

As the heat of summer chilled to early fall, late September brought new warnings to ReJoi related to prolonged useage, but it was still selling millions of units a week to women who could not stop praising it’s almost miraculous abilities to melt away heavy thighs and wide calves, slim down bellys and eradicate love handles. The fall fashionistas, always on the cutting edge of new style, were sporting ultra-thin slacks and stockings, as well as an update to the ‘silver cane’ trend, using a pair of custom, designer canes in multiple fashion colors and styles that matched the trendy new boot styles and what was fast becoming known as the ‘Ginger Leg’ style movement. Several pop divas and one Hollywood starlet came out with their own branded ‘cane’ fashion accessories and were seen using them in public at major events. Their legs and thighs, it might be added, were gorgeously thin and tapered perfectly as they swung along with their canes...

Winter snows brought with them a white-hot controversy as multiple health organizations pressured the government to ban the sales of ReJoi due to the severe health risks it posed to women. Images were splashed across the television news and Internet of women and even teen girls laying in bed, their legs numb and useless due to prolonged use of ReJoi. IT was confirmed, by the revelation of hidden corporate documents, that there were, in fact, multiple known health risks from prolonged use of ReJoi, including partial or complete paralysis. The more the pictures flashed actoss the media, though, of those thin legs, slender hips, and flat and toned stomachs, ReJoi actually saw a significant spike in sales. Women from all walks of life spoke out an hearings and town hall meetings, on the radio and on TV, some of them confined to wheelchairs, others on crutches. All of them were unanimous in their pleas - DO NOT BAN ReJoi!! Side effects or not, it is a miracle drug, and women, above all else, want to be thin and beautiful!

Spring fashion week in LA was held not in it’s usual classic fashion theater, but in the larger - and completely wheelchair accessible - convention center downtown. The top designers made a huge splash with amazing size zero couture worn by amazingly thin and beautiful models, all sporting the latest designer trend - fabulous mobility enhancers, sleek wheeled chairs created by the top design houses and branded with things like Gucci and Dolce & Gabana. These were snapped up in record numbers by women all around the country who, of course, wanted to emulate the top fashion trends.

Ramps into buildings soon became a hot trend and no store, restaraunt or boutique owner would dare have even a single short step up into their establishment, for fear of community backlash by the internet savvy fashion bloggers and trendsetters. Workplaces and even public spaces soon followed suit, as the growing trend encouraged more and more fashion-conscious women to start using the fashionable and trendy ‘mobility enhancers’, which themselves soon because almost as big a business as ReJoi itself.

It’s summer now and the beaches - the ones that were carefully paved and made accessible to the fashion conscious, anyway - are full of beautiful, thin women, wheeling themselves about and laughing and splashing as they sit in the water. Happy, smiling families with mothers and even daughters sitting there in their fancy fashion chairs, pushed by loving husbands or boyfriends, applying suntan lotion - ReJoi brand, of course - to their thin and unfeeling legs.

And me? Well, since my car accident seven years ago, I guess I’ve been very ‘fashionable’ - a trend-setter, even, with my thin, lifeless paralyzed legs... Of course since ‘ReJoi’ things have gotten lots better. I can get easy wheelchair access pretty much wherever I need to go, the ‘Fashion Accessible’ parking is now almost completely prevalent, and I don’t need to ask ‘do you have a ramp’ before I go out to a restaurant. People don’t stare at me with pity as I wheel down the street - in fact I’m often complemented on my very fashionable accessories, like my custom sport wheelchair and my very thin and sexy legs. Guys love my legs now, and most women I meet are jealous of them. I can see them eying me and planning to slather on another bottle of ReJoi as soon as they get home, to make their legs just a LITTLE thinner...

And so I drive home, to my very large, very expensive home in the suburbs. Oh yes - I guess my life has taken another turn for the better, when you think about it. My advanced degree in chemistry finally paid off, you see, with this wonderful and highly effective formula for reducing sub-dermal fat and cellulite... It’s selling quite well, too...

3 comments:

  1. Really cool story! It has been in my head for the last few days now. Thanks! :)

    I was wondering, wouldn't it be cool to write a sequel to this? Maybe in the form of a woman wanting to try this product and how it develops from there, so from another point of view?

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  2. I've always wondered what would happen if wheelchairs became a hot new fashion accessory. It looks like something along those lines has happened with neck braces.

    http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2012/10/paris-fashion-week-spring-2013-rtw#slide=9

    I also remember once seeing a high fashion pair of boots that were designed to look like prosthetics. There is beauty in disability, it's just few are ever brave enough to look, or if they see it, to say it. Perhaps that's a form of ableism?

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  3. New Diet Taps into Pioneering Idea to Help Dieters Get Rid Of 20 Pounds within Just 21 Days!

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