Monday, April 27, 2009

Story - Change of Plans

I wake up in the morning and the sun is shining - well, it feels like it's shining, I can feel the warmth on my face. Of course my world is completely dark, and it had been for exactly one week, since my lover gave me eye drops which permamantly destroyed my optic nerves. It was by mutual agreement, though more for her than me. I've never been interested in blindness, to be honest, and the prospect scared me, but the payoff....

that was going to be today. I feel my way out of bed and realize Susan isn't there. I didn't expect her to be, of course - she left by taxi very early and let me sleep in. I felt around for my white cane and got up, tapping around clumsily. I really hadn't prepared for this - being blindfolded for an evening of lovemaking was nothing compared to being totally, completely blind. I felt a deep helplessness that I had never considered - but I also loved every little triumph I experienced, from dressing myself to feeding myself to dialing the telephone. Susan was so in love with my condition as well, and we had spent much of the last week in bed, making love and experiencing each other - it was like I was feeling her and experiencing every sensation for the first time, and I longed for her touch, that tactile stimulation that had replaced my vision so abruptly.

I got dressed entirely by feel - Susan put my outfits together now so I had no idea WHAT I looked like, only that it pleased my lover. I then tapped my way to the bathroom to put on deoderant and brush my hair - that was the most I would attempt without Susan to help me, or else I'd end up looking like I was wearing clown makeup. Finally I tapped my way to the kitchen and made a cup of coffee and some toast. The coffee was still tricky, I had to do the levels all by feel, but I ended up making a decent cup of joe for myself - I felt another thrill for my accomplishment :)

Finally I tapped my way to the phone - a special phone that susan had installed, with large numbers that included braille. I couldn't read braille yet, though we practiced a few times, but I could feel my way around the phone and hit 'redial' - as expected it called the number to the cab company that Susan had used earlier. I told them the same destination and then waited for the doorbell to ring.

The cab arrived twenty minutes later and I allowed the cabbie to guide me to the car. I told him the location again and specified the side entrance, giving him what I knew was a $20 bill, by the way Susan had folded it for me. I told him to keep the change if he'd help me into the building when we arrived.

The place was very chilly, probably fifteen degrees cooler than the mild outside temperature, and I got a chill as I tapped into what I assumed was the lobby. My cane hit what felt like a metal chair, and I steered around the room slowly until I heard a kind woman's voice ask if I need help.

I told her I was there to see Susan, and she came over, through what sounded like a swinging door, to help me find my way. I hoped my eyes didn't look too disturbing, as I had deliberately left my dark glasses at home - I knew that susan loved the way my blind eyes looked, and I wanted her to be happy when she saw me.

The first thing I heard was what sounded like a low quiet sobbing. The receptionist guided me to a chair and I slowly sat. I asked if Susan was there and another voice replied 'She's right here, Miranda, but I need to explain something before you see her.'

I laughed nervously and explained that it didn't matter what she explained, I wasn't going to be 'seeing' Susan any time soon, and I head Susan let out a weak chuckle. The woman explained that there had been a complication in the procedure - Susan had an allergic reaction to the injections. My heart sank even lower. I knew 'the injections' were a series of three shots meant to paralyze my lover from her hips down, confining her to a wheelchair for life, at my request, as she had desired me to be blind. We had discussed it at length and both agreed that, with me blind and her a low-level paraplegic, we could still manage everything ourselves, it was an ideal arrangement for us. But now, that dream seemed to be collapsing. I kept listening... Apparently Susans' reaction caused nerve damage much higher than what was planned, and though the issue was under control and there was no chance of it getting worse, Susan was now a C5 complete quadriplegic.

The words echoed in my ears, C5 Quadriplegic. She would be mostly helpless now, and it was my fault, because of my desires. But worse was the fact that my heart skipped a beat with JOY, because even though I loved para girls and sexy crippled legs, the thought of having a quadripegic lover, who could barely control her arms, whose hands were limp and useless. I imagined how her limp, atrophied body would feel, had a momentary glimpse of learning to cath her blind. It excited me - no matter how horrible this would be for my beloved Susan, the fact that she would be a helpless quad for the rest of her life actually excited me more than anything else ever had...

I heard her call to me then - her voice soft but full of love. I felt my way to her - not even using my cane, just feeling my way with my hands out until I found her bed, then found her now limp body. I felt my way to her face and kissed her and told her I was sorry for what had happened - she told me it was OK, as long as I was there to take care of her she would be OK. I told her I'd never leave her side, and we kissed, one of the most sensual and passionate kisses of my entire life, because I couldn't see her at all, and I could tell she tried to wrap her arms around me and could no longer do it.

We got Susan ready to go and I realized that the wheelchair I had bought for her wasn't going to work for her condition. I was told that it had been taken care of, and I was guided down a hallway and then outside - I could hear a motor sound that I assumed was a power wheelchair containing my quadriplegic lover.

The trip home was longer than I had expected - the cab ride just hours before had gone so quickly. I didnt' know what to say to Susan, and she didn't say anything to me either. I didn't know if she was angry with me or just so disabled that talking to me was suddenly a challenge. I was very afraid that we would be trapped together, me sightless and Susan a helpless cripple, eventually hating each other...

We made it home and the van driver helped me out of the van, then I heard the lift lower Susan in her wheelchair. I heard her say 'thank you' to the operator and then heard her chair move forward, motors whirring quietly, gravel crunching under the tires. I heard her say 'Let's go home' in her new soft voice and I tapped along ahead of her, feeling for the door lock and opening the door.

I started to tell Susan how sorry I was as I heard her wheelchair power through the door when she stopped me and told me she wanted to get into bed. She wheeled her way through the house into the bedroom and I followed, breathless. She told me she needed help and for the first time, I felt my way to her wheelchair. I felt around it, feeling the 'U' shaped control stick with her curled hand laying in it. I got a rush and felt my pussy start to get wet. I found her other hand and kissed it, began sucking on her curled fingers, and she let me do it. I thought I heard a moan. Finally, I felt around her to find her seat belt and undid it, then slowly, carefully slid her limp body from her new wheelchair into bed. I felt her bulky diaper, her short skirt... her stockings. She was still wearing the very sexy miniskirt and stockings outfit I had asked her to wear - she obviously didn't have anything else at the clinic. Her feet were bare and as I laid her gently on the bed, she whispered to me. I didn't catch it the first time, so I felt my way to her face and got close, telling her to say it again. 'Fuck me, fuck your crippled lover' was all she said, and I moaned aloud. I stripped out of my clothes almost instantly and began feeling susan all over - her body was the same, yet so different under my fingers. Gone were the involuntary muscle twitches, the flexing of legs or arms. Instead there was just warm, soft flesh and floppy legs, curled hands. I took her right hand and placed it between my legs, rubbing my pussy with those limp, curled fingers. I came almost immidiately, and I kissed and caress her body from her curled toes all the way to her neck, never once touching her in a place where she can feel until probably an hour into our lovemaking. Susan is moaning the whole time, and when I finally begin to kiss and suck at her neck, she moans loudly in what will be the first of many 'quadgasms' I give her.

We spend the night and most of the next day in bed, me blindly exploring every inch of my sexy lover's 'new body'. She tells me what to do, where to move, how to touch her, and we learn a rhythm together, her eyes and my body becoming one, exploring every part of our combined disability. I feed her wine and chocolate and pizza as she lays there or sits there propped with pillows. We don't know how we'll get by yet, but we're going to give it our best...


  1. hey ... thought i'd ask the expert for help. my friend is trying an experiment - visual sensory deprivation for a week. any tips/suggestions for the best way to go blind?

    (his project is described here)

    (and yay, new posts!)